Hubman alerted me that March 14 is something called Steak and Blowjob Day. The premise behind Steak and Blow Job Day is as follows [sic]:
Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other… [but] there’s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life…
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially “Steak and Blowjob Day”. Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
This rubs me entirely the wrong way for several reasons.
- Valentine’s Day is NOT supposed to be a day for men to show women how much they love them. It’s supposed to be a day where you show your partner how much you appreciate them. A day where you spend time together, and take the time to make your partner happy. It’s about stopping to spend some time with your significant other, because so often we get caught up in life and forget to take a break and look at the amazing person that we have in our lives. It’s supposed to benefit men AND women alike, not just one partner.
- This holiday is based on sexist stereotypes about what men and women like. Not all men like steak. Not all men like blowjobs. Not all women like candy and flowers and candles and romantic dinners. To assume that’s the case is stupid and perpetuates stereotypes of things that are typically “male” and “female,” “masculine” and “feminine.” Some women love steak AND blowjobs (giving and/or receiving!). Some men love flowers and candy and romantic dinners. Your likes and dislikes have nothing to do with your sex or gender. Plus, not all couples celebrate Valentine’s Day in these stereotypically “romantic” ways, either.
- It’s heteronormative. Not all couples are male and female. Some couples consist of two men. Some consist of two women. Some consist of partners that are neither male or female. And these couples still celebrate Valentine’s Day! It also assumes everyone is, or wants to be, in a relationship, but so does Valentine’s Day.
Therefore, I’m not a fan of Steak and Blowjob Day. Granted, I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day, either. I think that we should take the time to do things that make our partner happy regularly, and not just on a day that someone in society deemed an appropriate day for it. Does your partner like flowers? Buy them some on your way home from work one day, just because. Does your partner love steak? Go out for a steak dinner or cook them one, just because you know it makes them happy.
And for the love of god, don’t give your partner gifts that they’re “supposed” to like based on their sex or gender identity. Give them gifts that you know they DO like, based on their personality and preferences.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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10 Comments
Haha, that’s funny. Every Tuesday is steak and a blowjob day in our house… Guess it would be our favorite holiday then.
PS- isn’t it a pretty awesome diet where you can eat steak EVERY Tuesday? That’s the first thing I thought when I started it… sorry, off track but true…
I’m a woman and I love a good steak. I love giving my husband blow jobs too. If I didn’t have frequent sinus infections he would probably get them all the time.
Ah! Thank you! I just made a significantly shorter but similar post in the EF forums in the “SBJ Day” topic. I’m glad I’m not alone on this one.
In every discussion about SABJD I’ve been involved in, men and women alike have taken it lightheartedly. I don’t think it’s a big deal. My husband and I don’t celebrate valentines day, but it doesn’t upset me that some couples like to receive flowers, chocolates, or ridiculous dancing and singing bears as a reminder that they are their partner’s sweetheart. It’s stupid, but it doesn’t upset me.
Same with SABJD…honestly, SABJD seems like a jab against valentines day, if anything – which I find humorous.
My partner could care less about steak (we’re vegan) and that doesn’t mean he’s “feminine.” I hate when people make up “funny” days like this. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s either, but this is much worse.
You’re about 10-15 years late on your realization, here.
Steak and Blowjob Day began as a parody of Valentine’s Day; It started because what you think VD is supposed to be, and what is actually is, are two different things. With relatively few exceptions, VD is marketed to be “all about the woman”. SBJD is the polar opposite.
Neither one of them has to be exactly what it’s marketed as, but c’mon… trying to ignore the fact that media ties gender to Valentine’s Day is just sticking your head in the sand.
I think that you will probably look back on this post at some point in the future and wish you hadn’t written it, something all bloggers feel inevitably.
Everything you’ve written here is absolutely true. I don’t disagree at all with anything you’ve said. But to take a cranky joke and treat it like an unironic holiday is probably missing the point, on the whole. A lot of this ground has been paved all over the blogosphere by the likes of Amanda Marcotte, so I’m not sure what’s being added by writing this.
I’m not here to say you are wrong, or defend a stupid joke based on exhausted old tripe that some morons won’t let go of. But I think that the energy that goes into a post like this is likely misplaced.
of.
Well, I’d never heard of it until Hubman’s post. I have no idea what other people have written about it, And as someone that writes about feminism, gender stereotypes, and misogyny regularly, I don’t see why I wouldn’t write this post. I read Hubman’s post, and promptly wrote this on in response to my feelings on the day. I don’t see how that will end up in me regretting this post, as so many of my posts address issues related to this.
Yeah, the “steak and blowjob” day pisses me off. Mostly because it assumes that V-day is all about the woman (which, uh, no…it’s not). That, and putting any sexual act in the context of obligation is completely off-putting. I love giving blowjobs and do so frequently, but if my husband or lover boorishly asked for one on “steak and blowjob” day, you better damned well believe that they wouldn’t be getting one out of spite.
But then again, I don’t celebrate V-day either, so…
Since when was V-day markedted just for women? Then why are places like Victoria’s Secret always packed with pink and red lingerie around Feburary, market to women who want to “excite their men” on that special day? There are definitely aspects of V day that I find incredibly dumb, but trying to come up with an even dumber holiday in response isn’t any better. Also, why is there a specific day saet aside for red meat and fellatio? If you and your partner are into that sort of thing, wouldn’t it be best if steak and blowjobs were celebrated regularly?