Jacoby Ellsbury makes me happy in my pants. He is beyond yummy. You have no idea the kinds of things I would let him do to me. You name it, he can do it. And not only is he insanely easy on the eyes, he’s a helluva baseball player, too. The perfect specimen? Quite possibly.
I feel the same way as this girl right here:
Pretty blonde girlfriend of 2 years? Psh, who cares about that?
Like she said, Jacoby, call me. I’m available.
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AND he's not afraid to steal home!