I have decided that I am going to get over this not-letting-guys-go-down-on-me thing. I’m fucking someone new and have not mentioned this “issue” yet, so I can start fresh and not make it a big deal like I have with every other guy. Usually, a guy tries to go down on me and I freak out and tell him not to or pull away and then have to explain that it makes me uncomfortable. And then, the longer I freak out about it, the more of an issue and the bigger of a deal it becomes. This guy has already mentioned that he loves eating pussy, so I’m just going to roll with it and let myself enjoy it. I’m gonna stop fighting all the pleasure inducing goodness that is cunnilingus!
But I have a question to pose to you all. One thing that always bothers me when a guy is going down on me is where to put my hands. My gut instinct is to cover my face, but again, this is not hot as it signals that I am uncomfortable letting someone go down on me. Then they stop because they can tell that I am tweaking out. I always feel weird putting my hands on their head, but I also feel weird letting them lay beside me like dead fish. I’m not one for grabbing my own boobs or “exploring” my own body while being pleasured by someone else.
Girls, where do you put your hands when someone is going down on you? Guys/girls who like girls, do you even notice where their hands are?
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
17 Comments
Well, when my hands are tied, it eliminates the quandary. *Wicked grin*
Usually, I end up weaving one through his hair as I get into it–but this has taken, quite literally, *years* of getting comfortable with oral sex to be able to do.
Otherwise, I typically have my hands locked behind my head (in that sort of relaxed or being-arrested kind of look) or, sometimes, underneath my body, sort of pinning them down my myself.
I second the hand tying idea.
But I'm a hands-on-their-head kind of girl.
*shrugs*
I hold hands! Generally their hands are resting on my waist, so I simply grab on. It's intimate, and it's also a great way of conveying my pleasure in a non-verbal (in addition to verbal) way. I can squeeze or clutch or stroke my fingers on their palm, or tense and pin them, or whatever
xx Dee
…and no I don't realize where her hands are when I'm down there.
I'm more concerned with what my hands and mouth are doing… and how she is responding. The only time I'd notice hands is if they are in my hair or if they suddenly find their way to mine in a grasp of ecstasy of sorts.
And I need to go take a cold shower now… I'm having too much fun going down memory lane.
I miss sex! So much!
My hands are all over the place. Sometimes they're on his head, sometimes they're next to me on the bed grabbing the sheets, I grab by boobs, I rest them on my belly, or where ever. Really, you can put them anywhere as long as you're not covering your face.
i like to take my hands and gently stratch his arms with my nails as he eats me . or dig my nails in him hard if the sensations get very over whelming.
LOL i do bite my bottom lip a lot. whihc he loves
I like a couple fingers inside of me when he's licking me and I put my hands by my side so that I can arch my back more to push my pussy in his face…
I usually get hands on the back of my head or my shoulders.
I see hands usually on breasts, thighs or wrapped up in the sheets.
Hmmm…so many possibilities and so little space to respond….
If your partner is like me, there's nothing hotter than her helping me explore; hold yourself open for him.
Dee's response is also quite nice; hold his hand(s) if they (or yours) are not already occupied (wicked grin…Thanks, Ms. I!)
Grabbing the sheets is usually a great non-verbal cue that you are enjoying the moment…
Finally, go ahead and grab his hair; pull him closer to you to show him how much you are enjoying his oral attention!
play with your breasts. pinch your nipples etc..
I usually am grabbing and clenching whatever is closest to me: his/her head, arms, the sheets, etc. T usually wraps his arms around my thighs/hips (make sense?) so that his fingers are able to open me up a bit more, or has his arms/hands under my legs gripping my sides/breasts (make sense?). This gives me access to his hands/arms to hold on to.
peace…
As a guy who really loves going down on women, I care a lot more about what signals her hands (and the rest of her body for that matter) are giving me than about what particular position they’re in.
For me, if I noticed that my ladyfriend was freaking out unexpectedly, then I might pause and ask her what’s up. If she told me that she was nervous about receiving and wanted practice getting past it, I’d take that as a personal challenge and offer her as many oral orgasms as she could stand whenever she wanted until she was… erm… satisfied.
But that might just be me. I don’t know how the other penis-bearing members of the species feel about it.
smoke a cigarette, knit, cut coupons, braid his hair…ain't no thang.
I say if you don't know what to do with your hands while lying on your back, sit on his face! That way your hands can be used to steady yourself with the headboard or wall…also, you can look up and away more easily w/o him thinking your tweaking.
Or, have him eat you out while you're on all fours…hands problem solved; plus, he can spank you or grab your ass more easily this way! ;D
Great Idea Red! You are a solutions orientated person. An idea's kind of person. I could use you on my staff at work. Want a job?
I'm not sure you need to worry too much where to put your hands, because it's sort of hard for him to see anyway if he's serious about eating you. So it should really be up to you where you want to put htem. Over your face in an "OMG" sort of way would be a problem, but… seriously… if that's where it feels most comfortable just do that anyway. Up over your head, pretending you're tied up worked for one of my partners (I finally asked her one day why she always did that, and not just when I ate her.) Riffing off what Tom said you could try putting them behind your knees: not everyone likes to have their legs up while they're being eaten, but the extra muscle tension in the legs is great for others. I think most of my partners have held my hands when I eat them, especially since I like to reach up and stroke their bellies and breasts at the same time.
Finally I think it's great that you're experimenting with being eaten. If it really makes you uncomfortable then just don't, but if you're just on the fence then… the possible payoff of learning to enjoy it is pretty high.
Good luck,
figleaf
If a woman's hands aren't bound then I prefer for them to be either running through or pulling on my hair.
Actually let me scratch that whole "prefer" nicety and go with "demand" instead.