From Sunburned Chipmunk to Cabbage Patch Kid

So, I woke up Saturday morning/afternoon and went to the kitchen to get some water. My mother stops me and asks why my face is so red; I look sunburned. I say that I don’t know, and then she points out a blotchy rash all over my chest. This, too, confuses me.

By the time I went to bed on Saturday night, my face (still bright red) had swollen up and was huge and the rash covered my entire body. And itched like hell. And my throat glans were so swollen that it hurt to swallow and my throat was killing me. By the time I woke up Sunday morning at 7:30, it hadn’t gotten any better and so we went to the ER. I looked like a sunburned chipmunk.
In the ER, the doctor has them give me an IV with Benedryl and Pepcid to reduce the itching and they run a whole bunch of blood work. The nurse was a fucktard who, we come to find out, is retiring in 5 days so doesn’t give a shit about anything. I have terrible veins to begin with, and he mutilated my arm getting to IV in. He also left the trash of everything that he opened scattered around the room.
The Benedryl did not put me to sleep like it was supposed to. It made me drowsy, but every time I tried to fall asleep my limbs started twitching like crazy. Nothing stopped the itching. At all. So, the doctor comes back and we can tell that he has no idea what is wrong with me. He decides that I have scarlet fever, even though that doesn’t explain my facial swelling and my strep test came back negative. Or the fact that the medication he gave me didn’t help any of my symptoms.  He gave me penicillin and cipro (because apparently I had a mild UTI, even though I get those all the time and know when I have one) because he couldn’t find a medication that would take care of both the strep throat and the UTI.
After the nurse effectively ripped the IV out of my arm so hard that I started crying, we left and I went home to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and by this point, my face was HUGE. So huge, in fact, that I could barely open my eyes. I had evolved from sunburned chipmunk to cabbage patch kid. At least now I know what I would look like if I gained, like, 40 pounds. 
Luckily for me, my godmother works for my primary care physician (who was on vacation) and got him on the phone. He was outraged when he heard my symptoms and what I had been diagnosed with. He was like, “Where the hell did this guy go to medical school?” He said I was having a really bad allergic reaction to something (we still don’t know what) and called me in some serious antibiotics for that, as well as a medication to, wait for it…. take care of BOTH the strep throat and the UTI. He also gave me something for the itching.
Thankfully, I woke up this morning with a face that is greatly reduced in size, and the rash is gone from my arms and legs and is currently only occupying my trunk. Hopefully by tomorrow, I will be better. And I had better be, because I need to get down to Miami to see TheWaterGirl before she heads back up to Boston on Wednesday!
Never a dull moment, is there?
This entry was posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

One Comment

  1. Macca
    Posted July 28, 2008 at 1:17 pm | Permalink

    yikes! feel better dude…

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting

  • This site contains adult content and is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. Under 18? Click here:


  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    PhotobucketI'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Because I Am a Shameless, Broke-Ass Bitch

    All donations are welcome, of course! You can always buy me something off my wishlist, as well.

  • Get Yourself Off

    Good Vibes PinkCherry Sex Toys Love yourself. Everyday. Tickle. Photobucket ER-150x250-1a_3 / JT's Stockroom
  • Photobucket
  • See My Writing At

    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Watch Them Get Off

    visit Photobucket visit
  • The What

  • The Who

  • Go Back In Time