TheWaterGirl, Molls, and I frequently get bored and work and we GChat ourselves silly. We took it upon ourselves to translate and make baseless assumptions about the people being auctioned off at the Make-A-Wish event with my new friend (and no, you will get no hints as to his identity!). We will continue with the bachelors.
Dan H:
TWG: “While it is the wrong punctuation, at least there is some there. Let’s hope he is not an English teacher.”
TWG: “I would like to meet Kennedy. And maybe sleep with him. I feel like Kennedy is a good “meet.” Like, you aren’t taking a course from these people, you get to “meet” them. And possibly seduce them.
Me: “But Georgie boy had yucky teeth.”
TWG: “Yeah.”
Josh A., Dan K., and Zach W.:
Me: “When they had lack of anything better to put about the person, they said what their friends think about them. And all of them have friends that think that they are laid back and funny. Right.”
Adam B.:
TWG: “Oh! I like the guy’s answer, ‘If I could travel to any destination it would be Vegas baby!’ with no other punctuation.”
TWG: “And Vegas as his ultimate destination. KEEPER.”
Me: “I picture him smashing a beer can on his head and punching walls while drunk. In Vegas, possibly. Also, impregnating a stripper.”
Dr. David S.:
Me: “I like the guy who is like ‘Dr. Mike S.’ and everyone else is ‘regular Mike S.’”
TWG: “Dr. David S. ‘My idea of a great date is one she will remember for years to come.’ Translation: I am not creative enough to think of an answer.”
Me: “A date to which every date she ever goes on will never compare because I am better than everyone.”
TWG: “Not creative AND arrogant!”
Molls: “If you get hit by a truck on the date, I bet she’ll remember it.”
Michael C.:
TWG: “My favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption. I am also not creative and love a movie that everyone else loves too.”
Uri M.:
Me: “Ooh! A gay guy! He owns a dance studio!”
TWG: “I know! Loves to dance! SPARKLE!”
Me: “So maybe his hidden talent is that he sucks dick well. Because, dance is code for gay. Get it? Get it?”
Molls: “This is also not a hidden talent. If you are part owner of a dance studio, people know. Lots of people. Thereby, not hidden by definitatio.”
Alex P.:
Me: “The guy you want me to date wants to meet Aristotle.”
TWG: “I know. He’s a keeper. I also forgot to mention the douche hair”
(She already mentioned his fake tan and loud shirt in her comment on this post).
TWG: “Aristotle tanner guy also lacks punctuation.”
Jay S.:
Me: “So, even though I hate cops, I will go out with Jay S. because we have the same ideal date.”
TWG: “I like cops in theory but not in practice. Like, uniforms= hot. Cops normally= power tripping douches. So, maybe I’d like a stripper who is dressed as a cop.”
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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One Comment
Gay Uri is kind of adorable though. I bet he's short, too. I want him to be my gay boyfriend and take me clubbing, and then after, I can put him in my pocket.
Sparkle!