It Didn’t Have to Be Like This

I knew that it was too easy. When I initially broke up with Bartender, he handled it wonderfully. He told me, “You deserve better than me,” “I wasn’t a good boyfriend,” “I’m sorry I let you down,” “No hard feelings,” and “Don’t think about it as losing me, think about it as freeing yourself.”

But it’s never that simple, is it? Apparently, he thought that I wasn’t really breaking up with him. That I was having a bad day. Throwing a tantrum. So when he finally realized that I had, in fact, broken up with him, things got ugly. He told me, “You bring me down,” “I will be happier sitting home alone every day than I ever was with you,” “Your sensitivity and emotions are exhausting and I can’t deal with it anymore,” “You are the most selfish person I have ever met,” and “You are an immature child who doesn’t know how to function like an adult.”
Maybe his ego was bruised. Maybe he needed to be mean, hoping that I would be mean in return and he could hate me. Maybe that would make it easier for him. Maybe he needed to feel like he was the one ending things. But I wasn’t mean in return. All I said was, “I would never say those cruel and hurtful things to you, because just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you deserve it” and “Things did not have to get ugly. It didn’t have to be like this.”
But maybe it did.
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3 Comments

  1. hamachi15
    Posted May 27, 2008 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about this one. Doesn't seem like things are going your way in the man department lately.

  2. Osbasso
    Posted May 27, 2008 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    Damn. I missed this over the weekend. I hope you can get over this guy quickly–sounds like he's fairly clueless about alot of things…

  3. twg
    Posted May 28, 2008 at 9:13 am | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about the break up. I know people always say a bunch of shit they don't mean when they break up. Here's hoping you're not taking it personally and good luck with the getting over him part.

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