No Daddy Issues For Me

I got a message from a 51-year-old man the other day. One with no picture, mind you. It said, simply, “What’s the last thing that surprised you?”

And so, I responded just as simply. “That a 51-year-old man thought it would be appropriate to message a 25-year-old woman. ”

Look, I’m not trying to date someone old enough to be my father, thankyouverymuch. Been there, done that, not doing it again. Also, that’s what THE DISCLAIMER AT THE TOP OF MY PROFILE SAYS. Plz to read it before you message me?

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  1. Nadia WestNo Gravatar
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    For many years I felt the same way about older guys hitting on me. Now that I’m with an older guy (who’s been with women far younger than me) I realize that it’s not always a creepy thing. He has been a best friend, a mentor, a support system to the two young subs he had just before he met me. He was a bridal attendant at one’s wedding. Some younger women don’t mind older men, and it’s not necessarily a “daddy complex.” (The one who got married has a very good relationship with her dad. I have a very good relationship with my dad.)

    I’m not saying you can’t choose to have age limits on who you’ll date – we all have that right. But as long as both people are adults then it’s not necessarily inappropriate. (Our society totally desexualizes older women, and turns older men who are sexual into “perverts” or “creeps.” Our sexuality doesn’t end when childbearing years end and that’s not wrong.) I’m finally old enough too look at it through the perspective of – I’m not a perv for being interested in someone younger than me. I’m generally not interested if they’re a lot younger, but if I am I’m not doing it out of some leering desire to fuck a young’n.

    Hope this doesn’t come off argumentative. :-) I just wanted to put another perspective out there.

    • Britni TheVadgeWigNo Gravatar
      Posted August 30, 2010 at 8:44 am | Permalink

      My last boyfriend (Profligacy) was 47. I’ve tried it myself, and I know it’s not the right thing for me.

  2. Dangerous LillyNo Gravatar
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    they NEVER read your profile. ever. Be it OKC, CL, etc….I will specifically say an age range, a location range, and a few other things that must exist for me to be interested…and inevitably a surprising number of men have such an ego to think they’ll be the exception, they’re great enough to make me throw out my rules.
    That, or, they simply

  3. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t have a problem with age disparate relationships on the whole; I have a problem when people will ONLY date in a specific, younger age range.

    That said: I saw this on uhub this morning after reading this post and was like, COINCIDENCE?!?

  4. ElodieNo Gravatar
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 6:49 pm | Permalink

    I’ve always dated guys near my age. I did date a 21-year old when I was 24 — that’s the biggest gap, and it felt kind of weird to me.

    Dating someone who could be my dad’s friend would creep me out really seriously. I know my dad’s friends too well.

  5. Ms.InconspicuousNo Gravatar
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 11:42 pm | Permalink

    I wouldn’t say that the older man/younger woman thing is really indicative of daddy issues. :-/ I mean, in some cases–like with anything–it could be. But sometimes it just works out that way.

    Now, there’s no excuse for ignoring your explicit profile specifications/instructions. That definitely deserves a verbal slap. AND if he’s a 50-something that ONLY ever seeks out young 20-somethings, well, that’s a little narrow-minded, if not creepy. However, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with a 50-something sending a hopeful email to a 20-something.

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