Dude *might* get points for creativity on the greeting, though.
Subject: hey Can I be your Edward Cullen?
Yo yo yo!!! Whats going on my homie g-funk era with a kiwi lemon-lime twist!
He then goes on to mention nothing about Twilight, or anything of substance for the better part of 7 paragraphs. It’s probably better off that way. From what I understand, Edward is a man vampire of very few words, too.
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I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
3 Comments
I can’t believe that someone’s idea of a good opener is asking you if they can be your violently jealous, emotionally abusive boyfriend. I’d probably rather be someone’s Bella than have someone be my Edward.
This means he wants to give you the sparklepeen, impregnate you, and then bite your baby out of you. Clearly. Oh, plus watch you sleep and run up trees and shit.
Ah. Let’s just hope dude hasn’t actually READ Twilight. Edward is a passive-aggressive stalker with intense jealousy issues and some serious dodgy boundary issues; like sneaking into Bella’s room to watch her sleep, and then dumping her ass for no reason.
Bella’s worse, though – a needy, whiny, codependent, self-obsessed drama queen who endangers herself and others in her selfish quest to be Edward’s soulmate. She’s pathetic; and breeding a generation of teenage girls who think that the way she behaves is in any way acceptable.
But my real wrath is reserved for the werewolves; surprised nobody’s posted about the underlying subtext in Twilight about how domestic violence is understandable because werewolves (a metaphor for ‘bad boys’ in general) can’t control their violent temper and if a woman gets permanently scarred in a vicious attack by her partner (as happened in New Moon) it’s implied it’s her own fault for pissing him off.