Most idiotic quote of the year goes to Bettina Ardnt, from her piece, “Women need to say yes to sex.” (Emphasis mine):
“For couples to experience regular, pleasurable sex and sustain loving relationships women must get over that ideological roadblock of assumptions about desire and ”just do it”. The result will be both men and women will enjoy more, better sex.
The alternative is the status quo namely that the low-drive partner, usually the woman, controls the couple’s sexual frequency and meters out sexual favours only when it suits her. This leaves the man in the degrading situation of having to beg for sex, keeping her happy in the vague hope of getting some. But is that so different from the much maligned husband who controls the family purse strings, doling out pocket money to the little woman if and when it suits him?
Last year the Victorian Government introduced laws targeting men who commit ”domestic violence” by financially controlling their partners. Surely restricting or cutting off the sex supply in a monogamous marriage is no less abusive. Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that a monogamous relationship must imply mutual commitment to satisfying each other’s sexual needs?”
So, apparently, controlling a person’s finances to the point that they have no resources or ability to exercise their right to leave a relationship is the same thing as not meeting your partner’s sexual needs.
Being in a relationship in which you and your partner have differing desires is now apparently the same thing as domestic violence. Coercing your wife into having sex when she isn’t in the mood isn’t abusive, but denying your husband sex when he *is* in the mood is.