Opposites Attract

I wish I was kidding when I say that someone (Max Martin, Dr. Luke, and Katy Perry are credited on the album) got paid to write the lyrics to this song. Seriously?

If you can’t listen to the whole song, here are some select excerpts from the song (honestly, I think an 8-year-old wrote this):

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

(Make sure you repeat this verse at least 79 times)

And that is the whole song, basically. It is like an elementary homework assignment that involves naming opposites. Okay, it’s not hot, so it must be… COLD! And if something isn’t wrong, then it must be… RIGHT! What rhymes with right? Ooooh! WHITE! And the opposite of white is black, so… black and white! I really think I may have turned this poem in sometime during 4th grade when I learned what “antonyms” were.
Katy Perry, whatever child you plagiarized deserves some of the royalties off of this godawful song.
But christ, it’s catchy as hell. You hear it once and it’s stuck in your head all freaking day. Damn you and your catchy songs, Katy Perry.
This entry was posted in Diarrhea of the Mind. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. B
    Posted September 24, 2008 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    I just stumbled across your blog (and by stumbled I mean sent the link from my girlfriend) and thank god, I love it. After reading a few (many) of your posts we agreed she and I are going to have some fun tonight.

  2. LiLu
    Posted September 24, 2008 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

    Said girlfriend here (see above). You've given us many naughty ideas. Too bad you're not in DC ;-)

    Thanks for the inspiration… and the distraction at work…

  3. The Promo Homo
    Posted September 25, 2008 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    THAT was the song for the music video shoot I was supposed to be in a few weeks ago. Haha.

    You're about to be hearing it a whole lot more seeing as it is her next single.

  4. Britni TheVadgeWig
    Posted September 25, 2008 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    Aw, I'm glad you guys like the blog and I hope that you two had lots of fun when you got home!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting

  • This site contains adult content and is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. Under 18? Click here:


  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    PhotobucketI'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Because I Am a Shameless, Broke-Ass Bitch

    All donations are welcome, of course! You can always buy me something off my wishlist, as well.

  • Get Yourself Off

    Good Vibes PinkCherry Sex Toys Love yourself. Everyday. Tickle. Photobucket ER-150x250-1a_3 / JT's Stockroom
  • Photobucket
  • See My Writing At

    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Watch Them Get Off

    visit ifeelmyself.com Photobucket visit beautifulagony.com
  • The What

  • The Who

  • Go Back In Time