Opposites Attract

By Britni TheVadgeWig | Published: September 24, 2008

I wish I was kidding when I say that someone (Max Martin, Dr. Luke, and Katy Perry are credited on the album) got paid to write the lyrics to this song. Seriously?

If you can’t listen to the whole song, here are some select excerpts from the song (honestly, I think an 8-year-old wrote this):

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know
…
Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(Make sure you repeat this verse at least 79 times)

And that is the whole song, basically. It is like an elementary homework assignment that involves naming opposites. Okay, it’s not hot, so it must be… COLD! And if something isn’t wrong, then it must be… RIGHT! What rhymes with right? Ooooh! WHITE! And the opposite of white is black, so… black and white! I really think I may have turned this poem in sometime during 4th grade when I learned what “antonyms” were.

Katy Perry, whatever child you plagiarized deserves some of the royalties off of this godawful song.

But christ, it’s catchy as hell. You hear it once and it’s stuck in your head all freaking day. Damn you and your catchy songs, Katy Perry.

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4 Comments

B

Posted September 24, 2008 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

I just stumbled across your blog (and by stumbled I mean sent the link from my girlfriend) and thank god, I love it. After reading a few (many) of your posts we agreed she and I are going to have some fun tonight.

LiLu

Posted September 24, 2008 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

Said girlfriend here (see above). You've given us many naughty ideas. Too bad you're not in DC

Thanks for the inspiration… and the distraction at work…

The Promo Homo

Posted September 25, 2008 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

THAT was the song for the music video shoot I was supposed to be in a few weeks ago. Haha.

You're about to be hearing it a whole lot more seeing as it is her next single.

Britni TheVadgeWig

Posted September 25, 2008 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

Aw, I'm glad you guys like the blog and I hope that you two had lots of fun when you got home!