I Leave The Best Drunk Messages

Cape Boy just played a voicemail that he received from Drunk Britni (yes, Drunk Britni is different than regular Britni). It was left after I had already called 42 times and he had turned off his phone to try and go to sleep:

“My finger is fucking bleeding, my ass fucking hurts, my friends fucking suck, I’m fucking pissed, and you’d better fuck me tomorrow.”

Drunk Britni also screws regular Britni over in the bedroom by telling guys that regular Britni doesn’t like oral sex. She has now told TM, TM, TL and Cape Boy this complete fabrication. I (regular Britni) only find out that Drunk Britni has told people this when I get fed up with the lack of pussy eating in my sex life, only to find out that the boys thought I didn’t like it. Sigh. Drunk Britni and I are in a fight.

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