Random Occurrances

Some highlights of this past weekend include:

I told a girl wearing a pearl necklace that she should be openly mocked for wearing sexual innuendo around her neck.

Walking through my friend’s birthday party that had somehow become overrun with freshman making out and falling over:
Freshman Tool: “Yeah, you just write the alphabet with your tongue, dude.”
Me: “Whoever told you that was lying.”
Freshman Tool: “So what’s the trick then?”
Me: “Try actually hooking up with a girl. She’ll tell you.


Sitting at work on Saturday, CoWorker1 turns, out of nowhere, the Coworker2 and myself and says, “My weed delivery guy joined the circus.”


When a customer comes into work asking for a lubricant that “feels like pop rocks” feel free to look at her oddly.

Oh yeah, and MIT Frat Boy did call. See, you can be prude and still keep them interested.

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