When you become a supervisor at work, there are lots of things you expect to deal with. Poor employee performance, personal conflicts, delegating tasks, possibly having difficult relationships with those you supervise, etc. There are some things that you never even consider having to deal with, because why the fuck would something like that ever come up at your place of employment? This is one of those things.
I supervise two other counselors, one of which we’ll call Jim. So, I’m sitting in my office, otherwise known as The Paperwork Dungeon, when my boss walks in and takes a seat. “Britni, it seems that there was an incident with Jim last night. It seems… it seems that he had an… accident at work. And, um, instead of going home due to a personal emergency, he just, uh, tied his coat around his waist and kept working. He was walking around the milieu like that.”
At this point I’m just staring at her. “Okay, what kind of an accident?” She clears her throat. “Uh, number 2.” Jim is 26 years old. Jim is kind of socially awkward and legally blind, but he doesn’t have any issues that I’m aware of that would cause him to shit his pants on the job. SERIOUSLY. HE SHIT HIS PANTS AT WORK AND KEPT WORKING. My boss continued, “Maybe you could have a conversation with him about personal emergencies? That in an event like that, he can call me and let me know that he’s had an emergency and has to leave, and he can let staff on-site know the same, and he won’t be in any trouble for doing so.”
MY BOSS WANTS ME TO SIT MY SUPERVISEE DOWN AND TALK WITH HIM ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE SHIT HIS PANTS ON THE JOB. So I ask, “What do you think the best way to approach this would be?” And that’s when she looked at me and said, “I’ve been trying to figure that out all morning. And to be honest, I have absolutely no clue. Good luck!”
And so, I had to talk to my supervisee about shitting his pants.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
6 Comments
Oh wow…. just, wow.
OMG! Delegation? No, that’s more like abdication by your boss! Maybe your boss should be reminded “never ask anyone to do a job you wouldn’t do yourself”! But well done Britni for taking on the unpleasant task!
It’s possible this employee might have IBD and didn’t want anyone to know about it. With Crohn’s Disease or UC, accidents happen and are an embarrassing part of life, unfortunately. Try refraining from judgement.
I wasn’t judging, so much as saying that it’s a really fucking uncomfortable thing to have to talk to my employee about. And something that you really don’t expect to ever have to do at your job.
There’s a Mad Men episode about that! When Freddy passes out and pisses himself while drunk on the job. You should watch it for guidance. (Except you’ve probably already taken care of this, so oh well).
I have Chron’s disease and can safely say I’ve never shit my pants.