The other night, I was woken up at about 1:30 AM by a couple fighting with each other. It was loud and angry and I listened for a few minutes for sounds of violence before drifting back to sleep. At about 3:00 AM, I was awakened by the same couple, still fighting. The male was yelling loudly and the tone of his voice frightened me. He sounded insane. I heard a a noise that I couldn’t tell the exact nature of, and he kept calling her a “cunt” over and over again. I decided that I needed to call 911. However, because it was across my courtyard, I had no idea what apartment these people were actually in. No clue which floor or even what the building number was. But I knew that I had to at least try to call the cops. At the very least, this was a domestic disturbance that was waking people up. At the most, someone’s life could have been in danger.
I called dispatch and the woman was really great and assured me that they would do what they could to find the apartment. I didn’t hear much more noise, so either the fight ended itself or the cops came. So many people hear things like I heard that night and just shrug it off as a couple having a fight, or think that it’s none of their business and that they have no place to get involved. But by calling 911, you have nothing to lose. The worst that happens is that it was just an argument, and the cops tell them to quiet down. The best that happens is that someone’s life is saved. Don’t neglect to call the cops because you don’t want to get involved; you don’t have to. You can place anonymous calls and no one will ever know who called in the domestic disturbance.
I wouldn’t have felt comfortable if I hadn’t made that call. I don’t know the outcome, but all I know is that I did what I could to possibly help someone that needed it. And you should never hesitate to do the same. As Screaming Violet tweeted at me last night when I first mentioned that I was considering making a 911 call:
“I’d still ring, too many times I’ve wished a neighbour would’ve called the cops when my ex was beating me up.”
There’s always a chance that someone else is hoping the exact same thing.
**Trigger warning for the following video.**
I hadn’t gotten a chance to write something for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which was this month, so consider this my contribution.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
6 Comments
You did the right thing. When my ex tried to kill me, I was able to get away just before the police arrived but there were seven other residents in my building who called the police and I told every one of them how much I appreciated their caring and kindness. My situation was at about the same time and sounded very similar to what you’ve described and then he started smashing things. I thank you, for her, and for all victims. After my own experience–I don’t even think twice anymore before I call it in.
Yay for calling! I have made a call like that too, it took a bit of debating with myself as to if it would still be on when the police came, if it was “worth it”(!?), etc.. it was harder than I thought it would be! But better safe than sorry. People are too scared of intervening on what they perceive as personal couple’s stuff, as if it’s sacred. So people wait- to see what will happen so they have a proper reason for calling, but when it happens it’s already too late. The body can take a lot of violence – but the wrong fall or punch could be lethal. I’m sure a lot of murders that happen as a cause of domestic violence are unplanned, and “accidental”.
And even if lives aren’t in danger, arguments like that are symptomatic of unhealthy relationships, and hopefully getting the police involved can be a wake-up call for the victim in order to understand that what is happening is more than- and can not be excused as- normal passionate couple’s stuff, but is extreme enough for people to call the police.
You definitely did the right thing Britni….god for you!!!! Kara XOXO
My girlfriend and I called the police last weekend on a couple in our house fighting very loudly at 1 am. There was lots of cursing and screaming and sounds of slamming doors/hitting walls – so even though we weren’t sure if we should, we only waited a minute or two before we did call the police. I haven’t been this scared in my life many times, I just knew that if the guy seriously hurt the woman and I didn’t call I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself not stepping in. I thought about going into the hallway where they were, but at 5 feet 4 and about 120 pounds, I didn’t want to get into an argument that already sounded physical. The cops came pretty fast and I believe both of them were taken to the station, at least both of them were cuffed. When I saw that I felt that it was the right thing to call the cops.
It woke you up from across the courtyard? That’s some crazy fight. I would have called too. Forget about what caused the fight, that could lead to some serious damage. If not now, maybe the next fight. Your call also gives a way out before the abuse continues and worsens.
I really admire you for calling. I’ll never forget, years ago, when I was a teenager I heard a couple fighting just outside my window in an apartment complex. It escalated and I heard the woman scream “Please don’t rape me!” I went and woke my mom up and asked her to call the police but she wouldn’t. To this day I am haunted by what may have happened that night. We have to be brave enough to make the call…