Comments on: On PDA and Sexual Orientation

By: On Being in Queer Spaces

On Being in Queer Spaces — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 05:02:23 +0000

[...] a similar vein as my post two days ago, and related to my post from National Coming Out Day, I’ve been struggling a bit with [...]

By: Mr M

Mr M — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 05:33:41 +0000

I hate it when people use their Blackberry’s in public. Or any other PDA for that matter! (Especially the Palm Pilot variety.)

By: r

Sat, 13 Nov 2010 00:00:04 +0000

I can attest that all these things are true. I am generally comfortable being affectionate in major metro areas. When I go home to the dirty south, I am far more, shall we say, aware of whether or not I’m being affectionate.

That said, I can’t hide that I’m gay at all, since I don’t present to the gender norms. So, eff it, I hold hands and touch my partner in an affectionate manner on occasion.

If someone gay bashes me, it won’t be the first time or probably the last. My main concern is that someone would hurt or harass my partner, because that would likely spark a jail-able cutting of bitches from me or both of us.

By: SkyddsDrake

SkyddsDrake — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 22:49:11 +0000

Recently there was a couple thrown out of a local mall area because they were a homosexual couple and they kissed. The security there literally escorted them out. That part of the story is horrible. The good part of the story? NO ONE stood for it. There was a great big demonstration and now every employee at the mall has to undergo cultural diversity training.

While I think it completely fucking sucks that this couple had to deal with the embarrassment/harassment of getting kicked out the mall, I’m positively thrilled that folks really came together and created change out of it.

By: Janie

Janie — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 21:57:29 +0000

It’s a horrific double standard, and it always warms my heart when I do see homosexual PDAs – not just because affection makes me happy, but because you know that they are doing something brave and helping to normalise what should already be normalised!

I understand your guilt (it’s how I feel when I complain about the hike in university tuition fees when I know full well that it would not affect me that much because of my economic privilege) but do not feel bad. Enjoy your PDAs, just as you wish others to. There are better ways to channel those feelings (as I know you are aware).

By: alana

alana — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 21:24:46 +0000

Though I hate most PDA, this is something that really bothers me too. I got in an argument with Ryan’s father just a few weeks ago about this actually. He used the old “I just don’t it thrown in my face” argument, but he doesn’t realize that what he considers to be overkill is just gay couple taking advantage of the same privileges heterosexual couple have. How is hugging your partner or keeping a picture of them on your desk throwing it in people’s faces? It makes no sense yet this is what a lot people say.

Of course Ryan’s dad once said gay couples get the exact same rights in civil unions as married people do and the problem is they want more rights and won’t accept anything less. Point being he has no idea what he’s talking about.

By: Evey

Evey — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 19:50:13 +0000

*sigh* I have definitely experienced something similiar. For me, it’s primarily when talking about my partners in society. I am poly and happened to become involved with my male partner, who is my primary, before meeting my female partner. I hate talking about him to people who don’t know about my poly relationships because I feel like I’m putting forth a false inferred identity about my sexuality. People assume I’m straight when I talk about my boyfriend and I hate the notion that I need to throw in a random comment about my girlfriend just to let them subtly know I’m a queer/poly kinda girl.. *grumble*