Comments on: On Being in Queer Spaces http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/ I'm nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me. Thu, 18 Nov 2010 02:47:46 +0000 hourly 1 By: Sophie Delancey http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/comment-page-1/#comment-16293 Sophie Delancey Mon, 15 Nov 2010 18:13:37 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=3976#comment-16293 To a tea. My partner and I love going to queer events like the monthly dance party on our block, but either our relationship is completely invisible and we essentially act like just friends or we dance like a couple and get weird looks. It's such an unpleasant feeling. To a tea. My partner and I love going to queer events like the monthly dance party on our block, but either our relationship is completely invisible and we essentially act like just friends or we dance like a couple and get weird looks. It’s such an unpleasant feeling.

]]> By: Catherine http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/comment-page-1/#comment-16282 Catherine Mon, 15 Nov 2010 03:09:05 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=3976#comment-16282 I can totally relate. I'm dating a transwoman who is at a point in her transition where we still look like a straight couple when we're out in public, which makes me feel uncomfortable with going to queer events and stuff. And I also refer to her as "my partner" and try to work around the use of gendered pronouns, but I do it with people I'm/we're not out to so that I can avoid feeling like I'm lying, and outing her. So thanks for sharing this. It's nice to feel like I'm not alone. I can totally relate. I’m dating a transwoman who is at a point in her transition where we still look like a straight couple when we’re out in public, which makes me feel uncomfortable with going to queer events and stuff. And I also refer to her as “my partner” and try to work around the use of gendered pronouns, but I do it with people I’m/we’re not out to so that I can avoid feeling like I’m lying, and outing her. So thanks for sharing this. It’s nice to feel like I’m not alone.

]]> By: emmy http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/comment-page-1/#comment-16278 emmy Sun, 14 Nov 2010 23:59:36 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=3976#comment-16278 There is a local (to me) comic book artist who did a weekly strip that was a lesbian - then fell in love and married a man. She still identifies as queer, but like you has had a difficult time finding her place in the world. She did many strips where she talked about her feelings of being split between the two worlds - with a place in neither. It is sad that there are people out there that struggle with it - as it sounds like there are enough that could define a new space. One where it doesn't have to be either/or but could be and/both. There is a local (to me) comic book artist who did a weekly strip that was a lesbian – then fell in love and married a man. She still identifies as queer, but like you has had a difficult time finding her place in the world. She did many strips where she talked about her feelings of being split between the two worlds – with a place in neither. It is sad that there are people out there that struggle with it – as it sounds like there are enough that could define a new space. One where it doesn’t have to be either/or but could be and/both.

]]> By: Eve http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/comment-page-1/#comment-16275 Eve Sun, 14 Nov 2010 20:53:12 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=3976#comment-16275 This. Exactly this. This. Exactly this.

]]> By: SkyddsDrake http://britisshameless.com/2010/11/on-being-in-queer-spaces/comment-page-1/#comment-16270 SkyddsDrake Sun, 14 Nov 2010 16:14:21 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=3976#comment-16270 I can't describe the relief that crossed the faces of many of my friends and family members when I told them I would be marrying a heterosexual, masculine man. "Oh, good. You're not gay after all!" was a comment I heard over and over. They don't get it. They'll never get it. They don't understand that I married my husband because he's not like any other heterosexual man I've ever met, that he's open and honest and that there are a million things about him ASIDE from his gender and sexuality that completely blow my mind and let a million butterflies loose in my gut. They don't get that he might have been a she in another time and place, and that I would have been just as happy and completely in love. That breaks my heart. What's worse, though? Having it come up in conversation that I'm queer, and having so many people scoff at me from the straight and the LGBTQ communities because it's like that part of me doesn't exist to them anymore. Can't say I know precisely how you're feeling or where you're at, but you're not alone in the realm you're standing in. I can’t describe the relief that crossed the faces of many of my friends and family members when I told them I would be marrying a heterosexual, masculine man. “Oh, good. You’re not gay after all!” was a comment I heard over and over. They don’t get it. They’ll never get it. They don’t understand that I married my husband because he’s not like any other heterosexual man I’ve ever met, that he’s open and honest and that there are a million things about him ASIDE from his gender and sexuality that completely blow my mind and let a million butterflies loose in my gut. They don’t get that he might have been a she in another time and place, and that I would have been just as happy and completely in love. That breaks my heart.

What’s worse, though? Having it come up in conversation that I’m queer, and having so many people scoff at me from the straight and the LGBTQ communities because it’s like that part of me doesn’t exist to them anymore.

Can’t say I know precisely how you’re feeling or where you’re at, but you’re not alone in the realm you’re standing in.

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