If it’s anything like its precursor think the idea for this book is to make men more attractive to lesbians. Instead it’s probably addressing the fairly common meme that if you’ve got a female or male body yourself you might have more insights into what works for other people with similarly sexed bodies.

Note: I don’t know if same-sex experience is a better predictor of quality advice. It’s always nice to get a different perspective. But sex manuals by experienced hetero woman who say things like “I usually have to tell my male partners not to go straight for my clit” or by experienced hetero men who say things like “most of my women partners say they prefer it when I…” are going to be just as valuable. Or, just as often, not. It’s usually more the writer than his or her schtick that makes a sex manual work.

figleaf

Ok, that’s a lie. I kinda do… but it might be difficult trying to explain the hysterical laughter to everyone.

It’s a bit like “Italian Cooking for Americans” – sold to Americans, written by an Italian. There’s nothing nationalistic or racial about that one to me (and lord knows how many world cuisine books I’ve bought), so it would be a little hypocritical of me to come up in arms about the exact same thing in the sex world.

Books like these pander to men who want to be better and don’t know that the secret to that lies in asking their partner and paying careful attention to how she responds to what he does.

To be honest, a younger, less experienced me would have probably bought this (from the remainder table in a second hand bookshop) in a weak moment.

“Dude, lesbians are so hot…”

Dude, lesbians mean that neither of them is REMOTELY interested in YOU, Mr. Man.

“Lesbian” means you want a woman. Period. Not that you want a “lesbian” technique. Not that you sometimes want a gal and sometimes any ol’ dick’ll do. So if it were REAL lesbian secrets for men it would state “back the hell off, dude, she’s not interested in the males”. Somehow, I think that’s not what the book says at all.

What does this have to do with your post? Most of us (men) are ignorant. We’ve never even been given the opportunity to try and understand lesbians. I was raised in a rural area and had zero exposure to anyone that had a different orientation than I did. It wasn’t until much later that I realized, it’s just a relationship. Really no different than any other, it just happens to be between two women (or men, or pick your two). This book feeds a man’s insecurities. “It has to be the sex! Why else would a woman pick another woman instead of a man?”

Not all of us are idiots, some of us are just ignorant. But we are trying to learn.