Comments on: Super Powers

By: Brigit

Brigit — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:22:57 +0000

All this time I spent growing up and living in the Caribbean and I couldn’t make myself completely safe from hurricanes. Silly ol’ me.

By: MoonshineSunlight

MoonshineSunlight — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 05:19:19 +0000

/headdesk. it’s people like this that make me want to vomit.

By: french

french — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:53:50 +0000

That right there is an outstanding comment. Hooo yeah.

Hey, did y’all know that I do what I can to “be safe” from tornados? I’m obviously not doing too well though; there’ve been some funnel clouds and tornado warnings around here lately.

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 01:37:49 +0000

Oh, and I once had a friend from a message board (NASCAR-related) tell me she’s afraid to come to California (with a tone of “I can’t believe you CHOOSE to live there, you shameless hussy” in her voice) because she might get caught in an earthquake.

I retorted, “I’m more likely to get killed in a flash tornado visiting SOUTH FREAKIN’ DAKOTA, where YOU live, than I am to even feel an earthquake here in Cali.” Or something like that.

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 01:35:36 +0000

OMG, Britni. I don’t know what you’re talking about. My old high school friend who died (with her whole family) in a crash when a semi rear-ended them? They totally should have avoided it. Why were they driving on a freeway in heavy traffic?

And that time I got strep in my first year of teaching? I should never have worked during cold/flu season. I should have used all of my sick days avoiding the little germ magnet first graders that gave it to me. What the hell was I thinking?

You know, that time I got leered at when I was running? It was MY fault for wearing such tight running gear. I don’t have the right to be comfortable when I run–I should wear baggy clothes that impede my progress, or take the leering and BE HAPPY to get it.

Right? RIGHT?

*crickets chirp*

By: Ghouldilocks

Ghouldilocks — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 22:05:19 +0000

This is ridiculous. Everyone knows that if you want to control the weather, you need to bring Pudge a peanut butter sandwich on Sandwich Day. http://youtu.be/xNj1XTnXc_M

If you bring him tuna, though, you’d be an abomination and probably get raped (hey, it makes just as much sense as this guy’s earthquake comment).

By: Samantha

Samantha — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:58:36 +0000

I’m pissed. Why haven’t I learned this secret tip that keeps you safe from earthquakes? Do you bribe them? Do some type of dance? Write an unruly letter to them? The same goes for the flu…if he’s so good at bypassing the flu, then why didn’t he step up during this last swine flu insanity and instruct us on what to do?

I feel gypped. Damn the lucky ones.

By: Eve

Eve — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:02:48 +0000

I’m in awe of this guy’s super powers. If I listen to his advice, will I, too, be able to prevent death, earthquakes, flu, and rape? Giving up logic would be a small sacrifice to make if it worked!

By: Sat

Sat — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 16:56:31 +0000

I live in Chile. I lived the earthquake in february. Surely this means I’m getting raped tomorrow, right?

By: twg

twg — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:10:19 +0000

MIND POWERS FTW