Comments on: Sexual Assault Anthem*: “Too Close”

By: Eve

Eve — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:58:51 +0000

I have always found that song gross and creepy for that exact reason. Even if you don’t interpret it as being the type of club situation you’ve been talking about lately, it’s still clearly sounds like a guy rubbing his erection on a girl who doesn’t seem entirely happy or comfortable with it (“step back, you’re dancing kinda close”). And the guy doesn’t seem to care or be bothered by that. Maybe I’m more easily bothered by the “isn’t harassment fun?” lyrics than most people because they parallel my dad’s behavior towards me rather closely, or maybe I’m just more able to recognize them for what they are. Either way, CREEPY, no question. This should not be a “calm down, you’re reading too much into it, it’s not a big deal” situation, it should be a “people need to know that what this guy is singing about is not an okay thing to do” situation. And because so many people seem to think that it is okay behavior and “all you have to do is stop the guy if you don’t like it,” it really is a big deal.

I hate that song. I’m really glad they don’t play it on the radio much any more.

By: twg

twg — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:11:03 +0000

Did I mention it reminds me of Prom? Sorry, I have been working in the Department of Redundancy Department this week.

By: twg

twg — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:09:11 +0000

Ugh, this reminds me of prom. The guys I went with, as friends, had a boner the whole fucking time. Not having experienced that before, I thought it was his keys for quite a long part of the night. Nope. Boner.

So this song always reminds me of Prom.

By: Rayne

Rayne — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:37:14 +0000

Oh, and… “You’re dancing like you’re naked” is probably a nod to the fact that, generally speaking, not everyone dances like an on-stage stripper at a normal club, and not all dancing is blatantly sexual. Though much of it is.

By: Rayne

Rayne — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:31:19 +0000

But she was also “grinding”.

When this song was made, “grinding” meant rubbing some part of you onto some part of someone else. Usually genitalia to ass, but other ways, too. So telling him to back up was more likely intended by the songwriter to be seen as her playing hard to get, not telling him to fuck off. And men and women still do that, too. It’s fun!

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:18:09 +0000

Although, in the song itself (which I didn’t notice until a commenter pointed it out), the girl is actually telling him to “back up.”

As for my friends, they’re actually awesome about it. They NEVER invite me when they go to clubs, knowing that I won’t want to go. But when it’s someone’s birthday and she wants to go dancing, I’ll totally oblige, because I’m a good friend and you do what the birthday girl wants on her birthday!

By: Rayne

Rayne — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:14:44 +0000

I wasn’t talking about your experience. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I was discussing this song in particular, and your opinion of it.

While I realize your experience makes this song leave a bad taste in your mouth, the fact of the matter is, the girl he’s singing about is obviously consensually dancing with him, and in a manner that grabs his sexual attention. Some people do that. Male and female.

And for the record, as much as I hate to say it, if your friends know you don’t like going to clubs and insist on taking parties there anyway, maybe you need some new friends. Ones that actually care about your feelings.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:07:52 +0000

But I *did* shut it down. I moved multiple times to get away from him.

And honestly, when I go to clubs, I dance with my friends. That’s why I go. Though, as my friends know, I HATE clubs and only go if it’s someone’s birthday, mostly because I don’t handle people grabbing and touching me very well.

By: Rayne

Rayne — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:01:05 +0000

Er… really? ~sigh~

You know, maybe you only go to clubs to dance. And maybe lots of girls only go to clubs to dance. And maybe lots of guys only go to clubs to dance.

But for as long as I can remember, one of the main purposes of a club was to find a hookup. You went to clubs knowing there were horny guys AND girls hunting the waters like sharks for chum. And if you got hit on, and didn’t want it, you shut it down.

Hell, most of the dancing I’ve done in my life has been with the express intention of getting the person I was dancing with horny, and if I was single, maybe taking them home for the night. Being told I’m “making it hard” and “don’t stop” makes me want to beeline for the bedroom, not scream rape.

By: Nell Gwynne

Nell Gwynne — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:08:35 +0000

Oh good god, that is creepy. Mind you, The Rolling Stones “Let it Bleed” is my choice breakfast music, but at least non of that album is considered club music.