Please read Britni’s Byline – “I’m nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me.”

I would say that this very succinct sentence embodies who she is and what her goals are, while displaying humility and portraying a sense of responsibility; all in under 30 words and DESPITE all of the shit she’s gone through.

Allow Britni to use the tone she needs to have her voice be heard. Obviously it’s working for her, and is in fact evidenced by your investment of much thought, effort, and time in posting repeatedly here. And remember that we all have our path to walk, it’s just that some, like Britni, have more fascinating feet to follow. Which is, of course, why we read her.

xo~Sadie

As I have no reason to believe you would lie I can only believe that the comments I made simply did not reach you, a glitch in the internet highway perhaps.

Britni I did not say you addressed me as a “hater” that was directed to some of your readers. I apologise for the misunderstanding.

I do not assume what you write in general in directed at me, I do not think I concern you enough to do so. Anything I have replied to, what I speak of in my most previous comment to you is directed to how I interpreted what you have directly said to your replies to my comments and general comments made by other readers.

I think it is interesting how you interpret my comments as lectures for they sincerely are not. I have merely shared my thoughts. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Again, I wish you all the best.
~a

If she were writing to kids, yes, she’s a “Bad Role Model” because of the drugs and whatnot, but she *isn’t* writing to kids. She links kids away to Scarleteen for age-appropriate advice on sexuality.

We all read her blog because it’s *interesting* not for guidance on how to live our lives. We get great advice on sex toys, great info on rape culture and other socially important issues, and, goddamn it, we love the drama. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t read. Period. If she was just a negative nancy with nothing good to say, we’d give our internet hits to another site.

Do I agree with every aspect of the way Brit lives her life? No. Does that fucking matter? Hell no!

Why doesn’t it matter?? Because I’m an adult and I take full responsibility for my own actions, thoughts, and feelings. I don’t look to Brit to tell me how to live, to be my ‘role model’ and you (the Royal You, not you personally, though, yes, you personally) shouldn’t either.

Mature adults conduct themselves respectively and won’t resort to petty attacks such as name-calling.

Grow up, everyone.

Because, honey, I don’t need your lectures. You’re not my parent; stop trying to be.

I realise that your life has nothing to do with mine and it is a choice in which I come to read. I must say after spending a great deal of time reading many entries, starting with your first and working my way to your newest, that I truly find your tone to comments in which you do not like, comments that perhaps prickle you or disagree with you, you simply do not accept and your rebuttal carries a tone of great hostility.

I have not once approached you with wickedness in my tone. I have not once approached you with venom or profanities and yet you have responded to my comments with what can only be assumed to be anger, (using all capital letters) and by expressing yourself with profanities.

I understand my comments may cause friction to you and I even respect that I might say something which triggers something in you. With that said, I must say, I find it odd you would even accept comments if you only ever desired to embrace the positive ones. Still, this is your blog, you absolutely have the right to do whatever it is you wish.

With that said, even though I do not always mesh with your entries and or responses to comments left, I do believe that many of your readers, the one’s who do wish to stand up for you, are part of the negativity I know I have experienced from reading and sharing on your blog.

I find it amazing that should someone disagree with you that person is considered a “hater”. Why is it that a person who disagrees automatically lands in the pile of “haters”? I disagree with you but I do not hate you. I do not know you so how can I hate you? I realise that you do not control what people write and I do not hold you accountable for any other person’s response. Still I find it interesting how opposing views, for many of your readers, automatically makes the author of said views a “hater” and or other negative names I have read while reading your writings.

Not once in any of my comments have I ever called you names, used profanities or declared that you were/are an awful person. I have though challenged your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. I have challenged what you think and act; however, I have never once done so with any negativity, with any malice. I am not certain I can say the same for how you have responded to my comments.

I believe it is unfortunate that people who do have opposing views from you are readily and regularly verbally attacked. Now you might not think you are attacking someone’s point of view; however, just like the author might feel he or she is not attacking you, you might feel as though a comment is a personal attack and vice versa.

I think it is a shame that I find such judgement from some of your readers and even from you from time to time when you are addressing comments because truthfully I appreciated some of your entries. Unfortunately though, I do not feel as though you are open to discussions where I might not cheer you on, where I might not agree with your sentiments.

I do not know you Britni. I have never claimed to know what you have experienced, what your life story is, what hurdles you have had to overcome, what successes you have had in your life. I do not know anything about you except what you have shared in this journal, on your formspring and your twitter and although I would not tell you how to live your life, I would not tell you what choices to make, I would think that you are a person who is about growth, about pushing past behaviours and examining your life and your relationship with people you know face to face, with people you communicate with on-line. Unfortunately though, from my experience, I do not believe you are such a person which is why I have made the conscious decision to no longer read your entries, read your questions on formspring and or follow you on twitter. I am certain my decision does not affect your life, in fact I would hope it did not.

I am curious though if perhaps what I have shared today might cause even the tiniest reflection inside of you regarding how one person “sees” you. I do not believe we should base our feelings about ourselves on how others see us; however, I know I have often witnessed an entirely different side of myself simply from “seeing” myself through another person’s eyes, through a person I really do not know. Sometimes that person can show me things I truly was not aware of.

I do not hold you accountable for what some of your readers say; about some of the negativity, some of the hurtful things they direct at other readers who have made comments; however, like does attract like. Something you may or may not think about.

I do wish you much success in your life Britni. And I do hope that with time and experience you might be willing to pause and reflect on your choices and perhaps one day admit that sometimes you are at fault that sometimes your choices are not the best and that just because someone points out an unfavourable behaviour does not mean that person is not a good person, not a person of worth and that his/her comments might actually have some validity.

Life is about lessons. Life is about respect. Life is about being willing to listen. Life is about communicating without hate, without judgement, without name calling. Life is about reflection and willingness to change and grow.

At least for me it is.

~a

What I want to know is how these people expect you to act when they’re harping all over you? Im not saying you’re any more negative then the word sometimes inspires, but do these people think questioning your mental health is going to make you write about rainbows and bunnies? Get real.

People like to forget that we’re all assholes. We all do asshole-ish things and make asses of ourselves sometimes. I pride myself on remaining calm and rational and there are posts I’ve written that make me cringe at how angry I obviously was. We all get too emotionally involved in our own world views sometimes and that can lead to unfortunate behavior. We’re human. That’s what we do. But none of that means we can’t move forward and have lasting relationships with people.

I think part of this might stem from the topic you guys blog about though. As an outsider, it can sometimes seem like sex-bloggers aren’t given as much leeway to write about non-sex topics like social issues (admittedly I only follow a few “sex blogs” so this is all my personal take). “Mommy blogs” suffer from the same thing. The reality is politics and social commentary are polarizing. People on both sides need to realize that and accept it without losing their shit (and I have definitely lost my shit before).