Comments on: Um, No, That’s Still Racist

By: Jess

Jess — Sat, 15 May 2010 18:00:20 +0000

Who care’s what colour he was, if he was cute you go for it. Although i don’t think i’d have had the balls to actually leave my number so kudos for that.

Jess x

By: Brigit

Brigit — Sat, 15 May 2010 02:00:18 +0000

Racism and colorism pop out even in the weirdest places. I come from a very mixed family. My grandma is “jabao” (light olive skin, curly light brown hair, green eyes, obvious African ancestry). Her own oldest granddaughter is black (uncle married someone darker than himself), yet once she said that she hoped that my cousin’s youngest brother (from a 2nd marriage and light-”jabao”) wasn’t dating his best friend because she was a lot darker than my oldest cousin and they would have darker babies if they had kids (She said: “va a dañar la raza”.) Sigh. We’re not even white grandma. We have Spaniard, African, Taino, and Norwegian ancestry. There’s no fucking “raza” to speak of. It’s both incredibly frustrating and embarrassing.
My parents never gave me grief about the color of any guy I dated, but I have a particularly nasty aunt that has had issues with other cousins’ dates because they were too dark, and issues with my husband because he was too “low class” for her tastes.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:39:46 +0000

Thanks

By: SkyddsDrake

SkyddsDrake — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:32:48 +0000

I remember having a conversation with my dad at one point about interracial dating. He really took his time thinking about it before saying, “I don’t care if you date someone of a different race. I’ve had people of every variety watch my back [in the Navy]. But, the fact of the matter is, if you’re going to date outside your race you’re going to deal with shit I wish you wouldn’t have to deal with.” It took me a long time to fully appreciate the thought he put into that answer.

As a side note, especially since it is part of the addendum and not even the meat of the blog, I’d like to mention (just because I appreciated it when someone pointed it out to me)… Using the term “bottom of the totem pole” to indicate a place of disrespect is a misnomer. The bottom of the totem pole is actually a place of very high respect, being the portion of the totem pole that holds up all the other parts of the totem pole. I could kick myself for not remembering the name of the title of an article that mentions this and other parables that are often misused… I’ll have to see if I can find it. Anyway, like I said… just thought I’d mention it.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Fri, 14 May 2010 20:00:41 +0000

Oh man. I remember that story! I mean, how *could* you be racist if you’d let a black person use your bathroom? Duh.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Fri, 14 May 2010 19:06:25 +0000

Reminds me of the Louisiana Justice of the Peace who wouldn’t marry the interracial couple, but WAS NOT racist because he had lots of black people in his home and they used his bathroom…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html

By: Ghouldilocks

Ghouldilocks — Fri, 14 May 2010 18:57:06 +0000

This = (almost) my entire family. Except my dad would probably leave out the “I don’t have a problem with black people” part.

By: Champagne and Benzed

Champagne and Benzed — Fri, 14 May 2010 17:20:33 +0000

Eight years ago, a waitress left me her number written on the bill – and this year we’ll celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary. My parents used to live in Africa and were fairly racially pragmatic about a bunch of girls I’d dated in the past (black, Indian) and much more daunted by the thought of me dating a *gasp* AMERICAN.

But they soon got over it.

By: SQWEAK

SQWEAK — Fri, 14 May 2010 17:17:39 +0000

I’m sorry about your mom, I think a lot of people don’t see it as racist so if someone were to make that statement and you call them on it you’re seen as overreacting (at least that’s how it happens to me). I hope she comes around to the thought that you can be happy with whom ever you may date <3

By: Cand86

Cand86 — Fri, 14 May 2010 17:04:24 +0000

My mom is exactly the same- I asked her once, randomly, what she thought of interracial dating, and she basically said that no, she didn’t really think it was a good idea. Or something like that. I was so shocked- and tried to press her on how she’d react if I dated a person of color- and she was fairly dismissive. It’s not like she’d stop me, I don’t think, or act rude to a non-white boyfriend or girlfriend, but yeah, in her mind, when she pictures me with someone, she’s thinking “white”. It’s sad.

On the other hand, it also makes me happy whenever I hear about kids like you and me finding this stuff out- because it means that in spite of our parents’ backward views, we managed to grow up believing that race isn’t a barrier to love (hooray!).