Comments on: Just Another Kind of Victim-Blaming

By: Gary

Gary — Fri, 14 May 2010 13:34:05 +0000

While Bourdain might have said what you thought (and read) that he said, remember that generating the text for closed captioning is a very demanding job, and the people doing it don’t always get it right – he may have said something different and both you and the person making the text may have heard him wrong.
Since cc is usually generated long after the show is taped, Bourdain may have no idea that someone thinks he said non-consensual sex makes great food.

In a sense the statement wouldn’t be wrong, though – all cultures, and all that comes with them, are the result of waves of other cultures interacting with the pre-existing cultures in a region, adding their politics, religions and cuisine on top of what was there before, eventually resulting in a blend of old and new. For the lion’s share of history, those interactions have been far more like a brutal rape than a wedding proposal. Think of the Mongol invasion of India, or Alexander the Great in Asia Minor, or the Spaniards in Central America, or the Vikings in northwest Europe.

By: Why Didn’t You Call the Police?

Why Didn’t You Call the Police? — Fri, 14 May 2010 00:05:26 +0000

[...] to the post I wrote about not blaming victims of rape or sexual assault for not reporting it is this FANTASTIC post: [...]

By: tigermom

tigermom — Tue, 11 May 2010 04:38:37 +0000

btw~i love anthony bourdain and watch his travel show/foodie show No Reservations, i was watching a 2008 show on Romania (he eats peasant street food in every country and is guided by locals into trying authentic native dishes and is polite and respectfull and good humoured) he said to his Romanian guide while feasting on delicious street vendor fare “great world cuisine is created by non-consensual sex with invading armies” i was like WHAT did he just say? i have captions (CC) as i am hard of hearing, so when i saw his comment in type i knew i had heard right, i love fusion food and fresh food and authentic native fare as much as the next foodie, but the idea that harming women could result in yummy fusion foods~on what planet does Anthony Bourdain live~and does his MOTHER know what he said? wife? daughters? i’ll bet they would set him straight and “clean his clock” ~i have a facebook page that hundreds of ppl comment on each show, ill look to see if anyone else picked up that sentence in Romania and the reaction to it~
Tigermom3@yahoo.com

By: tigermom

tigermom — Tue, 11 May 2010 04:32:56 +0000

thanks to all the brave sisters who have posted their personal pain here for everyone to see, so that i know i am not alone~thank you. i also appreciate the photo~it is exactly how i feel~i wonder how many millions of women over thousands of years have suffered at the hands of a family member or respected friend of the family and kept silent for your very reasons (love of other family members wishing to avoid causing pain but wanting and needing to protect the next generation of young women from this monster whom everyone else respects and trusts~and knowing in your heart that there is no way you were his first victim
thank you to everyone who told your story here, so we can know the comfort of a sisterhood~a “family” of respect and trust to replace the one we never had at home

By: Brigit

Brigit — Sun, 09 May 2010 22:24:30 +0000

The one that molested me as a young kid was my very conservative, Catholic, pediatrician uncle. It would be my word against his, and I love his wife, daughters and son. Mine is an extended family that can sometimes be very vicious, and I’ve been able to retain an almost perfect reputation within it (through a lot of work). If shit hits the fan I would most likely not return back to my home country. I refuse to have to spend the rest of my life outside it because this asshole abused me. I told my younger sisters when they were old enough so they would stay the fuck away from him. Last year both my parents found out and it honestly was one of the most painful chain of events of my adult life. I refuse to have that asshole fuck with my life some more so, no fucking way, I ain’t saying shit.

By: Eve

Eve — Sat, 08 May 2010 06:59:29 +0000

I have no proof. It would be my word against his, and he’s very charismatic.

Maybe if I had told somebody right when it happened it could have done some good, but by the time I was old enough to start to understand what it was that he did to me, years had passed.

When I was 18 it did get reported for me by a therapist. The police were notified, Child Protective Services looked into it, and NOTHING happened except that he found out I’d talked. He still roams free, and tells everyone that I’m delusional and spiteful. When you see what good it does, what’s the point in reporting it? Especially if you didn’t have the forethought to collect DNA or photographic evidence when you were 11.

If I had any chance of actually putting him in jail, I’d go to the police in a heartbeat. But I don’t live in that world.

Great post. The photo is very powerful.

By: SkyddsDrake

SkyddsDrake — Fri, 07 May 2010 21:55:13 +0000

Perfect sense. I’m just pointing out one more reason for not reporting. I have had others tell me that it was or wasn’t rape. The inconsistency just adds to the turmoil of the situation. I can’t speak for everyone, but that ambiguity, or lack of support, made it pretty clear to me that reporting was a non-option.

Thank you for your response.

By: GrrlTragic

GrrlTragic — Fri, 07 May 2010 17:45:26 +0000

I get what Nell is saying, even fictional characters aren’t free from victim blaming any more than the rest of us. Its the rape culture, and no female, flesh or fiction, can escape the shame game..

By: alana

alana — Fri, 07 May 2010 16:53:26 +0000

I agree completely. Maybe if there was a higher chance of conviction when victims do go to the police, the people making this argument would have a leg to stand on. But there’s not. And they don’t.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Fri, 07 May 2010 14:14:12 +0000

Are you saying that (now, I don’t remember the play well enough, and would have to re-read it with the perspective and understanding I have now) a fictional character in a play/story can’t be raped.

OOOHHHH. I think I’m reading this wrong. You’re saying that someone said that Blanche (fictional character) was “asking” to be raped by Stanley (fictional character), based on actions/dialogue/etc in the play?

Sorry if I read the comment wrong!