It’s a difficult situation to be in, being around an ex is hard enough without all the added shit that you’re having to deal with. The fact that he was so proud of what he’d done is so fucking scary – makes my skin crawl.

Your final point, which Brit commented on as well, is so poignant and I can’t really add anything more.

*more hugs*

xxxx

I think this question is the most important one we can ask. When I talk about my rape, it wasn’t from someone that drugged my drink in a bar, or attacked me while I was walking home. It was someone I was dating, whose home and bed I was willingly in, that I’d slept with before. 80% of women know their rapists. Not only is there nothing to protect us from those people, there’s no one to believe us when it happens. Guys tell us we’re being paranoid, or are insulted when they offer us their bed to sleep in, or a ride home, because “what do you think I’m going to do to you?” And the honest answer is, “I don’t know what you’re going to do to me.” And then they’re offended. But the truth of the matter is, we HAVE to treat them that way, because we’re protecting ourselves.

I’m sorry that you had to go through that, and I can’t imagine how confusing and scary and upsetting it must be to be dating someone, and realize that they’ve mistreated women in the past. But you mention warning signs, and it’s true: the way they’ve treated their exes is a really good indication of how they’ll treat you. <3