Comments on: Enough is Enough? http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/ I'm nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me. Thu, 18 Nov 2010 02:47:46 +0000 hourly 1 By: wolf biter http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12095 wolf biter Tue, 27 Apr 2010 04:43:38 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12095 I have done this. I have said "enough," too, but it is very, very hard. I'm very lonely, but at least I'm lonely with my pride and my principles intact, and I won't pass by someone who cares about me because I'm busy chasing after someone who doesn't. I have done this. I have said “enough,” too, but it is very, very hard. I’m very lonely, but at least I’m lonely with my pride and my principles intact, and I won’t pass by someone who cares about me because I’m busy chasing after someone who doesn’t.

]]> By: phaedra http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12094 phaedra Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:41:54 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12094 Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away from a situation we know is bad for us. You try to justify a reason to stay because its familiar to you even if you know it's not good for you. And you can see all the good in a person you want, and you can understand their actions perfectly. But if they don't treat you how you know you deserve to be treated then they're not worth sticking around for. I say this all from experience. I let myself be abused as well. You're a stronger person than me. It took him telling me to get out of his life for me to actually realize everything you said in your post. <3 Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away from a situation we know is bad for us. You try to justify a reason to stay because its familiar to you even if you know it’s not good for you. And you can see all the good in a person you want, and you can understand their actions perfectly. But if they don’t treat you how you know you deserve to be treated then they’re not worth sticking around for.

I say this all from experience. I let myself be abused as well. You’re a stronger person than me. It took him telling me to get out of his life for me to actually realize everything you said in your post.

<3

]]> By: alphafemme http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12093 alphafemme Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:28:52 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12093 I don't know the whole back story, but I've picked up bits and pieces. So all I can really say is, YES, you deserve love *and* respect. And also, even small steps forward are steps in the right direction. :) xoxo I don’t know the whole back story, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces. So all I can really say is, YES, you deserve love *and* respect. And also, even small steps forward are steps in the right direction. :) xoxo

]]> By: C http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12092 C Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:11:32 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12092 I hit send too early. I meant to say, therapy will help a ton with issues like this, and also make you a better therapist. Not sure what your state's laws are like but i believe in mine a therapist cannot be licensed unless they go through their own therapy. You're right about one thing - you deserve better and until you believe it, really believe it, the bruiser and other reasonable facsimiles will just do what you allow them to. I hit send too early. I meant to say, therapy will help a ton with issues like this, and also make you a better therapist. Not sure what your state’s laws are like but i believe in mine a therapist cannot be licensed unless they go through their own therapy. You’re right about one thing – you deserve better and until you believe it, really believe it, the bruiser and other reasonable facsimiles will just do what you allow them to.

]]> By: Sarahbear http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12091 Sarahbear Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:15:02 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12091 /agree That parent analogy is absolutely perfect. You're reaching as far as you can to find excuses for his behavior because you don't want to believe he's bad for you. We've all done it. A good majority of women think they can 'fix' the men they want to be with. I'd recommend changing your number all together and not giving it to him and avoiding places he frequents, like the bar. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes big, annoying, inconvenient, unfair changes are necessary to do what's best for you. /agree

That parent analogy is absolutely perfect. You’re reaching as far as you can to find excuses for his behavior because you don’t want to believe he’s bad for you. We’ve all done it. A good majority of women think they can ‘fix’ the men they want to be with.

I’d recommend changing your number all together and not giving it to him and avoiding places he frequents, like the bar. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes big, annoying, inconvenient, unfair changes are necessary to do what’s best for you.

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12089 Britni TheVadgeWig Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:27:17 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12089 No. I just have a tendency to want to fix people. It's unhealthy. No. I just have a tendency to want to fix people. It’s unhealthy.

]]> By: Ferns http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12087 Ferns Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:53:27 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12087 "But I’ve also seen who he really is." This statement makes me think of parents saying of their criminally violent son, 'He's a good boy really... '. Yeah, he's really not and I don't care how nice he is to his mother. "I’m an awesome person. I deserve love." Yes, you are. And yes, you do. Change his ring tone to silent so that you don't even hear it. Good luck with it, sweetie. Ferns “But I’ve also seen who he really is.”

This statement makes me think of parents saying of their criminally violent son, ‘He’s a good boy really… ‘.

Yeah, he’s really not and I don’t care how nice he is to his mother.

“I’m an awesome person. I deserve love.”

Yes, you are. And yes, you do.

Change his ring tone to silent so that you don’t even hear it.

Good luck with it, sweetie.

Ferns

]]> By: giles http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12086 giles Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:58:48 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12086 Is it possible that you are exploiting his hangups in order to gratify your masochism? I ask because I've most certainly done this. Is it possible that you are exploiting his hangups in order to gratify your masochism? I ask because I’ve most certainly done this.

]]> By: sulpicia http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12085 sulpicia Mon, 26 Apr 2010 06:11:23 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12085 that's a walk-away situation - for me. you just have to allow your brain to take over. balance on two hands: me - him. who weighs in with the most? hard though... cause you have named him your safe place. but is he safe all-round? tough choices. good luck, sweetie. that’s a walk-away situation – for me. you just have to allow your brain to take over. balance on two hands: me – him. who weighs in with the most? hard though… cause you have named him your safe place. but is he safe all-round? tough choices. good luck, sweetie.

]]> By: Kivrin http://britisshameless.com/2010/04/enough-is-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-12084 Kivrin Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:32:31 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1870#comment-12084 When I read this—"You don’t know what it’s like when it’s just the two of us."—I thought: "Oh man. C'mon Brit, you know what that means. I <i>know</i> you know what that means!" And then, a few paragraphs later, you said it: "I'm allowing myself to be abused." It's good that you're admitting it. That's the first step to changing the situation. It sure is hard, though, isn't it? When I read this—”You don’t know what it’s like when it’s just the two of us.”—I thought: “Oh man. C’mon Brit, you know what that means. I know you know what that means!” And then, a few paragraphs later, you said it: “I’m allowing myself to be abused.” It’s good that you’re admitting it. That’s the first step to changing the situation.

It sure is hard, though, isn’t it?

]]>