A conversation I had with my friend last night:
“So guess why he hasn’t called me in a month?”
“HE GAVE ME UP FOR LENT.”
“hahahahahaha.”
“That’s AMAZING.”
“He said, ‘You’re supposed to give up the hardest thing for you to give up.’ Apparently, that was me.”
“I was like, ‘so you expected to ignore me for 40 days, and then after easter, we were magically going to start fucking again?’”
“Yes.”
“So we fucked last night. He said not to tell Jesus. So I’m telling you.”
“I’m better than Jesus.”
“Yes. You don’t make people give up awesome things for 40 days. Like, sex with hot chicks, for example.”
“I just want to yell, ‘HE GAVE ME UP FOR LENT.’”
That, my friends, is something you just can’t make up.
6 Comments
Holy cow, that is at once an awesome conversation and a sad commentary on that guy’s frame of mind!!
that is fucking awesome!!!!!!!! LOL
oh my i cant stop laughing
full of the win!
Dear God, that is best story ever. You definitely couldn’t make that up.
Ha ha, great conversation, and very strange to think that this actually happened. I’ve never even heard about “lent” before, but it sounds rubbish. I thought religious people tried very hard at being nice to people and all that, but what that guy did sounds totally rude…
…wow.
In all honesty, I once did the 40 Days and 40 Nights thing, but it was while I wasn’t dating anyone, and I have to say, it seems insane and ridiculous to me that I should have given up masturbating for 40 whole days of Lent … that said, I remember the orgasm I had on the night I was done, and it was fucking amazing. It was purely g-spot, which is something I’ve not been able to do at any other time. Yeah. And intense, it was! The fact that I remember it so well is amazing enough, but I would never give that up again, I’ll tell you that!
That said, giving someone up for Lent is ridiculous, even having done what I have. Come on, dude. If Jesus cares that much about that, he’s going to care about a) you BREAKING it, and b) you, you know, having premarital sex at all.
I think Jesus is way cooler than all that, and what’s more, I think God wouldn’t give a flying fuck balls. Don’t you think, if you believe in him, he has better shit to do than worry about what you’ve put your genitals inside/wrapped them around?
Ha. I’m drunk, btw.
Uh, wow.
That is just…wow. And I’m a Chrisitan, that does follow Lenten resolutions. I mean, your lenten resolution shouldn’t involve pissing off significant others.