You are selective with what you disclose, you have stated that you do not share everything, only what you want. What you share though, _is_ the information a person has in order to put together the entire you and some will put the pieces together and see something beautiful and others will put the pieces together and see something not so beautiful.

Everyone has a different opinion, a different view and therefore you will receive many colourful comments and you can either choose to discard them or accept them, it is all in your control. Unfortunately some comments will be rude or even worse hateful and I do not believe that is appropriate or healthy. I have received numerous e-mails and or comments from people who have told me I am the reason for child abuse, that I am the reason why the world is sexually perverted, that I am the reason women are abused and all because I live in a consensual BDSM, Master/slave relationship. For the messages that are saturated in hate and death threats, I simply delete, for the ones that cause me to ponder, the ones that bring reflection, even when they prickle, I keep them, I post them because I believe it is important to learn from others, to at least be willing to look outside my box and re-evaluate some of my behaviours.

From reading the numerous comments I would say that you appear to be open to publishing comments even when they are not pleasant; however, what saddens me is how angry, how hostile and have verbally attacking you appear in your own comments and with this one individual post.

I did not choose to comment to tell you what you should and or should not do. I did not make the effort to express my thoughts and views in order to “change” who you are or to “show you the light”. You will continue to live your life in the manner you believe best suits you; you make choices and you live with the consequences, both positive and negative.

Why I took a moment to converse through the virtual world is because your behaviour, your actions towards driving while under the influence of alcohol is startling. I have been a rather dedicated to my beliefs that drinking and driving is not acceptable, not okay. I am exceptionally aware that my view is not always well received; however, I stand firm in my belief. Drinking while driving, being under the influence of any substance while driving is simply reckless and selfish. When I am behind the wheel of my car I take all precautions to ensure I am safe as well as those on the road with me, both drivers as well as pedestrians. I am also very well aware that many people will fight the laws on driving while under a substance stating that he or she can have numerous drinks and still not exceed the legal blood alcohol level. Allow me to share with you that in Canada anyone who reaches a 0.05 blood alcohol level is considered dangerous and should not be operating a vehicle. How many drinks a person can have before reaching a 0.05 BAL is dependent on numerous factors all ranging from weight, from gender, from how quickly a drink is consumed therefore unless a person has a breathalyser or takes a urine test or blood test one can not say with 100% certainty that he or she is safe to behind the wheel of a vehicle. And if one can not be for certain after have a few drinks or numerous drinks, then he or she best side on the error of caution.

I have the belief that what you do to yourself, (what anyone does to him/herself) is private, individual and although I might not agree with one’s behaviours their life is not mine. I also have the belief that what you (or anyone) does and it could have a direct impact on my life such as driving while under the influence, I have every right to speak up, to say no to such behaviours because I value my life. We do not need to live close to each other for me to feel a risk from such behaviours as yours with regards to driving while under the influence. There are many people who share similar beliefs and that thought is frightening.

Just as you believe that no one has the right to tell you what to do, I do not feel you or any other person, has the right to dictate what may or may not happen to me when we share road space. Accidents happen, this I understand and accept the risk each time I place my foot on the gas pedal. Accidents caused by a person who has been drinking or digesting any other substance which can cause impairment, is not acceptable.

I could continue this comment with psychological babble; I could continue this comment with the statistic of how many people have died due to reckless endangerment from driving impaired; I could continue this comment sharing my own personal grief with regards to death and my own loss; however, I do not believe that will have any effect on you and that truly is not my purpose.

My desire to speak here was to express the sadness in human kind when people use hate to teach or express him/herself and to express my disbelief that you feel retaliating with hate is a solution. My desire to write was also and most importantly influenced because it genuinely scares me to know that you appear to have no remorse, no accountability and no responsibility for your actions with regards to driving under the influence.

Ignorance is not bliss. It is fatal.

~A

http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/safety/impaired/fact-sheet.shtml

Of course, the possibility exists that this blog is made up of whole cloth, which would make you an attention-garnering narcissist.

There is such a thing as blatant stupidity. I.e., losing control of yourself and your situation is stupid. Drinking til you are passing out is stupid. Having an ongoing relationship with an abusive person is stupid. Being stupid is your own responsibility, not someone else’s.

Now: while being stupid doesn’t mean someone SHOULD rape you, or that it is alright if they do, it means that a: you can’t even begin to fight the situation and b: that yeah, we live in an imperfect world and it is more likely to happen.

If you don’t walk in the middle of traffic, you are less likely to get hit by a car. If you don’t drink or drug yourself incoherent, you are in a better position to defend yourself and be aware of a situation developing. This rape wasn’t a case of getting attacked on the street. If you aren’t blotto, you don’t go into the house of someone who bears you no good will.

It still doesn’t mean you should get raped…….but in the blatantly imperfect world that we live in, not the one that should exist when the rapture comes, situational awareness will help that happen.

I’ve followed you for a long time – both publicly and not – because I felt like you had something to say. You talked about things that I felt were important and interesting. I agreed with you a lot of time. I admired your moxie, your quirky fashion sense, your biting wit.

You’ll notice that I’m talking past tense, here.

Britni, I can’t watch this anymore. I watched two friends drink and snort themselves to death. They both had issues with depression. One had been raped. They just spiraled down and down, until no one could touch them. They refused every helping hand, they told us to “Shut The Fuck Up” and butt out of their lives. And within a year, they were both gone.

As someone who has also lost family and friends to drunk drivers, I have to tell you that I deeply resent the fact that you would drive after drinking, and then have the brazen audacity to tweet about it. That is NOT OK!! It doesn’t matter if you had one drink, or were a tiny bit tipsy, or hammered, Britni. Driving after drinking is a zero tolerance activity, regardless of what the “legal limit” is.

What’s even worse, every comment that called you out for the drinking and driving was answered with a flippant link to a youtube clip that essentially made fun of the comment. Is this the behavior of a mature, responsible person? Is this someone who has any place counseling anyone else on their lives? I think you know that it isn’t.

What you do with your sex life is your business. You did not deserve to be raped regardless of the circumstances. What you wear, say, think and do, that only affects you, is none of my business. But the minute you take that show on the road, and it has the potential to affect someone else’s life? That is my business. I frankly don’t care if you don’t like it. If I had any inkling of where you lived, I’d turn you in myself with absolutely no regrets.

I hope you get help. I hope you find a way out of depression. I hope you deal with the drugs and alcohol that you are clearly abusing. And for the record, your Master does you NO favors by excusing your behavior and telling you to do whatever you want. He also has a responsibility for your safety that he’s clearly neglecting.

I hope you find yourself, Britni, because right now you’re coming across as a petulant, lost little girl. I truly hope you’re ok; but I won’t be watching anymore.

Not that you care…. so I’ll just STFU.

The drinking and driving: Let’s get real. You are a big girl and you know that driving while drunk or tipsy isn’t ok. As was said before, it’s not just your life people are concerned with…the moment you put that key in the ignition, it is a community concern. As a mother, things like that do really bother me. There are enough douche nozzle drivers out there that make driving with children scary when alcohol isn’t even a factor, let alone adding booze to the mix. And truthfully, it isn’t about trying to be YOUR mother, it’s thinking about all the other people that could be victimized because of a choice like that.

Having said that, as you said, we don’t know you. And there are a lot of things you’ve said that we really have no way of knowing if they are true or not. Were you exaggerating your tweets? Perhaps. It’s not unheard of for a person to want to spice up their existence when they’re feeling down, albeit in the form of a tweet.
Do you really do coke or is it a detail added for shock value to bring in readers? It’s possible.
In my opinion though, I really believe you’re genuine. And when someone shares this much of their life, it’s hard not to feel a sense of protectiveness.
Victim blaming assclowns aside, if one of your readers was trying to ”shake you by the shoulders” and tell you to take care of yourself, I don’t think it was out of a disciplinarian standpoint as a parent would be. It seems to me that the majority who expressed concern did so out of a genuine concern for your life.

Yes, of course, it is YOUR life to do with what you please. But think about how any one of your readers would feel if some how your anti-depressant/alcohol/coke combo actually DID kill you and they said nothing…..or think about how your readers might feel if you had killed someone else while driving and they had said nothing. It’s very hard to see the water rising and not throw out the life preserver.

I like you Brit. I have shared things with you that I have never shared with anyone. And I did it because I identify with you and I think that if you’re half the therapist that you are a writer, you must be amazing. No finger pointing, no judgment, no moral high horse…..just take care of yourself doll