Comments on: Confession

By: Paradox

Paradox — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:52:20 +0000

This is definitely so bittersweet. I'm really glad for you both that you were able to tell her and that now you can support each other. I think the level of comfort we can get from our parents is incredible. There's something special about it, no matter how grown up we get.

I'm happy to hear that you feel like you're healing. I know it's a long road, but I'm sending you best wishes along it.

By: Jess

Jess — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:13:14 +0000

I'm so happy that you were able to share the story of your rape with someone who needed to hear it so much. I'm sure she feels better knowing that she KNEW something was wrong and her intuitions were not faltering.

You're both gorgeous

By: Ms Scarlett

Ms Scarlett — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 23:08:04 +0000

I'm so glad you're finally able to take advantage of that unwavering, unconditional support from your mother… Hugs!

By: Thomas

Thomas — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:17:44 +0000

it was the thing to do.

By: Meg

Meg — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:21:21 +0000

I'm in tears, Britni. I'm so glad you now have your mom's support, though. It can't have been easy going through this without her knowing. She loves you no matter what.

By: SevurdLove

SevurdLove — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:53:07 +0000

That is great. Your mom is truly an amazing person. My parents are great people and dealt with my siblings issues like my younger sisters rape and my older siblings issues with great ease, but I just get the feeling they feel uneasy when it comes to my issues. They know my sister has experimented during college with other females but when I came out to them they were very supportive. These last several years they change the subject quickly when I talk about guys I date or try to speak about something serious like my exes being abusive or being raped. They don't want to hear it. I wish I could tell them but I fear it is never going to happen. They know SOMETHING happened but refuse to give me an ear when it comes to their son.

Like with your mom it is funny how parents really do pick up on these things. But what is most important is if they take steps to communicate these things with you.

Please. Give her a hug for me.

By: better late than never

better late than never — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:51:20 +0000

Wow, great stuff. All I can say is that I hope to be able to step up to the plate with my two teenage daughters if/when the time comes.

Hugs!

By: skyddsdrake

skyddsdrake — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:47:25 +0000

My dad was the last person I told once I finally started talking about being raped. I dreaded it. I knew it would hurt him immensely… but I knew he was aware that something was going on with me. Him and I have never been able to hide anything from each other. I wish he would have hugged me, but it took forever for him to be able to touch me again. He was too afraid of triggering something, because he was a man, and he wasn't sure how that would affect me. I'm grateful that he no longer worries about it.

I'm glad, for both your sakes, that you were able to tell her. It may not have been what you planned for, but maybe it was just time.

By: Aurore

Aurore — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:08:52 +0000

This is definitely one of those bittersweet moments. I'm glad you found the courage and I'm glad your mom is so supportive and caring. Hopefully, this helps both of you with the healing process.

*hugs*

By: Joanna Cake

Joanna Cake — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:47:54 +0000

My daughter is in her late teens now and, with all that's been going on at the house combined with her own hormonal tribulations, she's had a torrid time.

But the key thing to remember is communication. As a mum, I would insist on hugging her, even when she didnt want to be hugged because it wasnt cool. Sometimes Id have to get her virtually in a headlock and stand on her foot to keep her there, but she was going to get that love, no matter what.

Knowing how my mum didnt do that for me, wasnt really there for me to talk to about the important stuff has made it so vital that I didnt do the same thing with my own daughter.

To have to hear that something so awful had happened to her child must have been dreadful for your Mum. But she knew something was up. It's something that, as a mother, you just do know. You cant put your finger on it but there's something at the back of your mind taht aint right. Your kid is different somehow but wont tell you what's happened and you dont want to pry and be pushed away. It's a really difficult balancing act.

For you to have the courage to tell her is such a major breakthrough in your relationship but also, I think, in the way that you can now start moving forward to deal mentally with what happened to you.

Although Ive not suffered the traumatic experience that you did, I do know from my own counselling that talking about it is the best way to vent the poison that you are repressing inside you. It wasnt your fault but somehow you blame yourself and beat yourself up. Telling your Mum is the first step in really getting it out of your system and allowing her to help you.

Because, remember, and Im crying here because I keep telling this to my own daughter. She's your Mum and she's the only person in the world who will love you forever, no matter what. There is nothing that you can do or say that will ever change that. It's as integral a part of her as the cell that she gave to make you what you are.

Big hug x