Comments on: When Master Goes Bad

By: Hubman

Hubman — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:15:58 +0000

Reading this story, I was reminded of this piece I bookmarked on The Daily Beast a while back, maybe for a future post. Maybe you and/or Brit can use it as fodder for a post, I'm curious what you think

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-12-13/the-legal-dangers-of-rough-sex/

I hope your friend is OK.

By: southerngirl

southerngirl — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:52:06 +0000

This is sick indeed and turned my stomach. I truly hope she is ok baby…

By: tygerbaby

tygerbaby — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:27:09 +0000

Related to what eva and sarahbear said, my first thought on reaading this was, " Oh my God, the second coming of John Robinson, aka Slave_Master!". That my brain even went there makes me physically ill, but the similarities are there, except for the fact that as far as anyone knows, this girl is still alive.

Robinson was known to have killed 8 women, and was suspected of at least 3 other killings.

She needs to LEAVE and not look back.

By: Librarian Babe

Librarian Babe — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:16:01 +0000

Wow. I think it's good that you could put this up as a cautionary tale. I do hope your friend is ok. I've had a couple of friends in abusive relationships (not even D/s ones), and neither of them disclosed to me what was going on until they were totally free of the guy. It's frightening. Some of what one friend went through was truly horrific. Your friend is in my thoughts.

Nadia

By: sarahbear

sarahbear — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:22:34 +0000

That's so scary. I hope that she's okay.

I was thinking the same thing as eva, that perhaps he's using BDSM as an excuse to be abusive and controlling. I would continue to check up on her.

By: eva

eva — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:21:46 +0000

I hope it's a sick joke, but it does sound like the same old story of abuse.. It's normal for people in abusive relationships to go back to their abuser after they've managed to escape. The abuser has such a tight grip on their victim, it's kind of like being brain washed, and it's hard for people who haven't experienced it first hand to understand just how hard it is to get away. It sounds to me like he uses the term bdsm to cover up the fact that he's a sadist, but what do I know, I obviously don't know these people. I think you should check up on her, or if you don't want to get personally involved, get in touch with her friends and express your concern, make them check up on her and make her less isolated.

By: Another Suburban Mom

Another Suburban Mom — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:06:14 +0000

I do hope that your friend will be ok. I think that it is horrible when someone appears to take advantage of the trust of another person.

By: ignorantarmies

ignorantarmies — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 08:40:52 +0000

It seems to me that all serious 24/7 relationships are abusive. Nobody can be in the careful mindset required to act as a responsible dominant at all times. And if 24/7 is taken to include times when the dom is angry, pissed, high, very careless or otherwise unfit to bear this responsibility, than by this aspect it becomes abusive.
Why should BDSM play be considered non-abusive if it resembles abusive behaviour so much? Because the relationship is different. This can best be characterized with certain counterfactuals:
In a BDSM relationship, if the sub would say the safeword, the dom would stop. This is not true of abuse. And there are probably a number of such counterfactuals that serve to differentiate between even superficially identical situations.
But for those counterfactuals to be true requires the dom to be observant, clearminded and able to step beyond his current mode, when neccessary. And I do not believe that anyone is able to be this 24/7.
Even if the dom means well, there will be times when his judgement is off.