Comments on: Rape Culture http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/ I'm nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me. Sat, 11 Dec 2010 07:29:26 +0000 hourly 1 By: BELLA http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6645 BELLA Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:30:37 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6645 What an eye-opening post. I look forward to reading more as you explore this topic. What an eye-opening post. I look forward to reading more as you explore this topic.

]]> By: Another Suburban Mom http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6606 Another Suburban Mom Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:44:39 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6606 This was a wonderful post Britni. You should be proud of yourself. Its informative and well written and absolutely worth posting. This was a wonderful post Britni. You should be proud of yourself. Its informative and well written and absolutely worth posting.

]]> By: Meg http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6603 Meg Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:18:51 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6603 Truly--I work with 12- and 13-year-olds, and let me tell you, anyone who says they are mature enough to know better is full of shit. I share your outrage, because I've never met a 12-year-old girl who is mature about sex. <br /><br />When I was 13, a friend of mine was pushed down on a couch by her 16-year-old boyfriend, and he made her have sex with him. Some of my friends were so jealous of her for being so grown-up, and having sex. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe it then, but as an adult, I now know that was rape, plain and simple.<br /><br />Great post, Britni. Very informative. Truly–I work with 12- and 13-year-olds, and let me tell you, anyone who says they are mature enough to know better is full of shit. I share your outrage, because I've never met a 12-year-old girl who is mature about sex.

When I was 13, a friend of mine was pushed down on a couch by her 16-year-old boyfriend, and he made her have sex with him. Some of my friends were so jealous of her for being so grown-up, and having sex. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe it then, but as an adult, I now know that was rape, plain and simple.

Great post, Britni. Very informative.

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6601 Britni TheVadgeWig Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:44:01 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6601 <i>I still find it fascinating, if wildly contradictory, how the word and concept of rape is used in the realm of consensual sexual relationships. <br /><br />I think you manage to balance it by being so open and honest about your relationship.</i><br /><br />I can see how it can be confusing for people. Especially those that don't fully grasp the concept of rape culture. It can see contradictory, but when you look at it more closely, it's anything but. It's not an assumption that our sex will be violent. <br /><br />The only reason it is an assumption is because it was discussed and agreed upon beforehand. This is entirely different than me going home with a man and him holding my hands down or slapping my face without a discussion beforehand.<br /><br />However, I totally understand how it can be confusing and seem contradictory to many. A submissive that talks about being beaten and "raped" criticizes rape jokes? WTF? But when you get to the heart of the matter, it's really very different. I still find it fascinating, if wildly contradictory, how the word and concept of rape is used in the realm of consensual sexual relationships.

I think you manage to balance it by being so open and honest about your relationship.

I can see how it can be confusing for people. Especially those that don't fully grasp the concept of rape culture. It can see contradictory, but when you look at it more closely, it's anything but. It's not an assumption that our sex will be violent.

The only reason it is an assumption is because it was discussed and agreed upon beforehand. This is entirely different than me going home with a man and him holding my hands down or slapping my face without a discussion beforehand.

However, I totally understand how it can be confusing and seem contradictory to many. A submissive that talks about being beaten and "raped" criticizes rape jokes? WTF? But when you get to the heart of the matter, it's really very different.

]]> By: twg http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6600 twg Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:41:43 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6600 I tried to explain this to my ex many times before giving up. He would always respond "I think you're just more pessimistic about society" when interrupting me. This from the anxiety-ridden, parents-blaming-for-his-emotional-problems misanthrope himself. Yeah, I'm the pessimist.<br /><br />Great post and loves shakesville. I tried to explain this to my ex many times before giving up. He would always respond "I think you're just more pessimistic about society" when interrupting me. This from the anxiety-ridden, parents-blaming-for-his-emotional-problems misanthrope himself. Yeah, I'm the pessimist.

Great post and loves shakesville.

]]> By: champagneandbenzedrine http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6597 champagneandbenzedrine Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:19:20 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6597 Good answer - I didn't read the comments from that post.<br /><br />I still find it fascinating, if wildly contradictory, how the word and concept of rape is used in the realm of consensual sexual relationships. <br /><br />I think you manage to balance it by being so open and honest about your relationship. Good answer – I didn't read the comments from that post.

I still find it fascinating, if wildly contradictory, how the word and concept of rape is used in the realm of consensual sexual relationships.

I think you manage to balance it by being so open and honest about your relationship.

]]> By: Truly http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6596 Truly Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:18:15 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6596 This weekend I heard the recent alleged (statutory) rape of a 12-year-old girl described like this: "Well, she's 12 going on 30, and from a terrible family, and he's really a young 18, it's just so unfair..." SHE WAS 12! The thought that her supposed maturity or poverty somehow made her a responsible participant just made me sick. It's such a pervasive attitude, though I'd never thought of it as a "culture" before. Thanks for the great points. This weekend I heard the recent alleged (statutory) rape of a 12-year-old girl described like this: "Well, she's 12 going on 30, and from a terrible family, and he's really a young 18, it's just so unfair…" SHE WAS 12! The thought that her supposed maturity or poverty somehow made her a responsible participant just made me sick. It's such a pervasive attitude, though I'd never thought of it as a "culture" before. Thanks for the great points.

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6595 Britni TheVadgeWig Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:09:07 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6595 In the comments section of that post. I said:<br /><br />"I can see how it seems inappropriate. However, part of our D/s dynamic is consensual nonconsent. I am "helpless" and He can do what He wants with me. He tells me He is going to rape me. I ask Him to rape me. All under the guise of nonconsent, but thoroughly discussed and consensual beforehand."<br /><br />Since He and I discuss and call it "rape" among ourselves, it *is* consensual and it isn't something that is being assumed as being linked to His/our sexuality; it's something we've both chosen to link to it and desire.<br /><br />Profligacy, in the comments, said:<br /><br />"Tasteless joke obviously. I was attempting to make fun of myself and the dicotimy of our relationship, that she so often refers to. Perhaps I failed. So be it. I won't defend it." In the comments section of that post. I said:

"I can see how it seems inappropriate. However, part of our D/s dynamic is consensual nonconsent. I am "helpless" and He can do what He wants with me. He tells me He is going to rape me. I ask Him to rape me. All under the guise of nonconsent, but thoroughly discussed and consensual beforehand."

Since He and I discuss and call it "rape" among ourselves, it *is* consensual and it isn't something that is being assumed as being linked to His/our sexuality; it's something we've both chosen to link to it and desire.

Profligacy, in the comments, said:

"Tasteless joke obviously. I was attempting to make fun of myself and the dicotimy of our relationship, that she so often refers to. Perhaps I failed. So be it. I won't defend it."

]]> By: champagneandbenzedrine http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6594 champagneandbenzedrine Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:59:03 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6594 And where might I read that? And where might I read that?

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/rape-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-6593 Britni TheVadgeWig Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:19:44 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1057#comment-6593 Champagne and Benzedrine, maybe you should read my response to someone else about that before you ask that question. Champagne and Benzedrine, maybe you should read my response to someone else about that before you ask that question.

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