Comments on: One Year: The Story of My Rape http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/ I'm nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me. Thu, 18 Nov 2010 02:47:46 +0000 hourly 1 By: X http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-12260 X Sun, 09 May 2010 02:13:52 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-12260 I've never commented on your blog before, and I feel weird to comment now on something you posted almost half a year ago, but I want to thank you SO much for sharing this. Something extremely similar happened to me during a fight with my boyfriend at the time. For years I convinced myself that while it was cruel and it was horrible, because it was not vaginal, it was not rape. I still get nauseous when people approach me unexpectedly from behind and I haven't been able to bring myself to have sex in the 8 years since this happened, but still, when it happens in a situation where you've given socially implicit consent, like in a relationship or during consensual vaginal intercourse, not many people are willing to treat it as rape. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal story and helping women like me acknowledge and accept the fact that what happened to us WAS rape so we can face it, deal with it and hopefully one day move on. I’ve never commented on your blog before, and I feel weird to comment now on something you posted almost half a year ago, but I want to thank you SO much for sharing this. Something extremely similar happened to me during a fight with my boyfriend at the time. For years I convinced myself that while it was cruel and it was horrible, because it was not vaginal, it was not rape. I still get nauseous when people approach me unexpectedly from behind and I haven’t been able to bring myself to have sex in the 8 years since this happened, but still, when it happens in a situation where you’ve given socially implicit consent, like in a relationship or during consensual vaginal intercourse, not many people are willing to treat it as rape. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal story and helping women like me acknowledge and accept the fact that what happened to us WAS rape so we can face it, deal with it and hopefully one day move on.

]]> By: Sexual Assault Awareness Month http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-11853 Sexual Assault Awareness Month Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:02:45 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-11853 [...] I’ve shared the story of my rape. [...] [...] I’ve shared the story of my rape. [...]

]]> By: Librarian Babe http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-7268 Librarian Babe Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:48:07 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-7268 Sometimes it takes me a while to get to blog posts I know deserve my full attention. I starred this one and finally read it tonight. I'm so sorry for what happened to you - and you're right that you are not at fault. Regardless of your state of drunkeness, regardless if the sex began as consensual, this was rape and he had no right to continue after you told him to stop.<br /><br />I can relate to not reporting - I was sexually assaulted at a play party with a speculum (by the party host, a sex blogger no less but one whose sun has set). How could I go to the police with something that started off consensual - and at a sex party? Thankfully the counseling I finally sought out a couple of months after was given by someone who wouldn't victim blame at all.<br /><br />Nadia Sometimes it takes me a while to get to blog posts I know deserve my full attention. I starred this one and finally read it tonight. I'm so sorry for what happened to you – and you're right that you are not at fault. Regardless of your state of drunkeness, regardless if the sex began as consensual, this was rape and he had no right to continue after you told him to stop.

I can relate to not reporting – I was sexually assaulted at a play party with a speculum (by the party host, a sex blogger no less but one whose sun has set). How could I go to the police with something that started off consensual – and at a sex party? Thankfully the counseling I finally sought out a couple of months after was given by someone who wouldn't victim blame at all.

Nadia

]]> By: twg http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6890 twg Tue, 26 Jan 2010 04:46:03 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6890 Hey. Just wanted to echo the general consensus that you rock for writing this. I know that I have gone from horrified and embarrassed to able to talk about certain fucked up experiences I've been through, and I believe that it helps not only the person it happened to, but the people who hear it and become less ashamed and self-blaming about what happened to them. So kudos, my friend. Hey. Just wanted to echo the general consensus that you rock for writing this. I know that I have gone from horrified and embarrassed to able to talk about certain fucked up experiences I've been through, and I believe that it helps not only the person it happened to, but the people who hear it and become less ashamed and self-blaming about what happened to them. So kudos, my friend.

]]> By: Hubman http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6880 Hubman Sun, 24 Jan 2010 05:47:53 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6880 Britni, as you can see, I deleted my prior comments. I failed to state what I was trying to say properly and it was misread, understandably, as a criticism of what you did after the rape. Britni, as you can see, I deleted my prior comments. I failed to state what I was trying to say properly and it was misread, understandably, as a criticism of what you did after the rape.

]]> By: Kyra http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6875 Kyra Sun, 24 Jan 2010 01:52:58 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6875 Hubman, the criticism was implied in a not-so-cleverly disguised question.<br /><br /><i>You did fine a police report, right? Otherwise he gets away with rape and just might do the same thing to someone else.</i><br /><br />And your "defensive much?" isn't helpful as a response to this serious topic. She shouldn't have to defend either her actions during or after to you or anyone else. Hubman, the criticism was implied in a not-so-cleverly disguised question.

You did fine a police report, right? Otherwise he gets away with rape and just might do the same thing to someone else.

And your "defensive much?" isn't helpful as a response to this serious topic. She shouldn't have to defend either her actions during or after to you or anyone else.

]]> By: Kitty http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6873 Kitty Sat, 23 Jan 2010 22:50:29 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6873 *internet hugs*<br />Hearing other people say that it's the victim's fault in rape is truly disgusting. Especially when they start pulling in other things to classify it as rape (ie. drunkenness, where you were at, etc) If there's no consent, it's rape. Simple as that.<br /><br />Glad to know that you are so strong and fighting to keep your head high :)<br /><br />kitty<3 *internet hugs*
Hearing other people say that it's the victim's fault in rape is truly disgusting. Especially when they start pulling in other things to classify it as rape (ie. drunkenness, where you were at, etc) If there's no consent, it's rape. Simple as that.

Glad to know that you are so strong and fighting to keep your head high :)

kitty<3

]]> By: sarahbear http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6871 sarahbear Sat, 23 Jan 2010 19:42:30 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6871 I'm glad you are able to talk about this finally. No one deserves to have things happen to them, and they especially don't deserve to be blamed for them. It does no one any good to go over the shoulda, woulda, coulda's because it doesn't change what happened. I'm glad you are able to talk about this finally. No one deserves to have things happen to them, and they especially don't deserve to be blamed for them. It does no one any good to go over the shoulda, woulda, coulda's because it doesn't change what happened.

]]> By: Red Rider http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6870 Red Rider Sat, 23 Jan 2010 19:31:44 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6870 (big hug) - thanks for sharing and the courage you have to move forward in your own way. I dated a girl in college that had been raped as a teenager (by a teacher no less). I have experienced first hand the courage required. May you continue to grow and heal and find happiness Brit! (big hug) – thanks for sharing and the courage you have to move forward in your own way. I dated a girl in college that had been raped as a teenager (by a teacher no less). I have experienced first hand the courage required. May you continue to grow and heal and find happiness Brit!

]]> By: Aurore http://britisshameless.com/2010/01/one-year-the-story-of-my-rape/comment-page-1/#comment-6869 Aurore Sat, 23 Jan 2010 18:57:51 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1090#comment-6869 I think you are brave for putting this story out there and so strong to be able to be a survivor. <br /><br />As for people who can't understand why you aren't over it - that is the most ignorant thing I've ever heard and I'm sorry that you have to put up with that attitude. I think you are brave for putting this story out there and so strong to be able to be a survivor.

As for people who can't understand why you aren't over it – that is the most ignorant thing I've ever heard and I'm sorry that you have to put up with that attitude.

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