Comments on: Levels of Submission

By: Dangerous Lilly

Dangerous Lilly — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:27:35 +0000

It is amazing the difference one year can make, and finding a person you love this deeply. I know that, prior to R, my submissive tendencies and willingness to do activities I didn't already like were pretty nill. But once in the depth of it with him I found myself more than willing to to whatever it took to please him. I ended up moving from "I'll do it for him" to "I want to do it for him, and I know I'll like it".

Unlike you though I'm not so sure I will ever seek out a similar relationship.

By: champagneandbenzedrine

champagneandbenzedrine — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:48:36 +0000

I couldn't help it, I just fixated on this:

"Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual"

Is being a traditional housewife somehow not consensual?

By: CarrieAnn

CarrieAnn — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:04:20 +0000

Ugh.

Nothing bothers me more than the words real and true used in a BDSM context. The nine levels of submission are one of my hugest pet peeves.

Why do we still think this is "okay" when we would pounce on anyone who used the words "real" or "true" when speaking to a trans person? I mean, really! If I said "well, you're not a real woman" to a trans person I'd get my head chewed off and spit out by the entire sex positive community.

I love introspection.

I hate these sorts of labels.

Er. End rant. lol.

I DO love the introspective aspect of the post, Brit!

Carrie Ann
viewfromthefloor.com

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:35:51 +0000

Topaz, the thing is, that work comes first. Master knows this. It's unspoken. Will there be times that I want to be doing what *I* want to do, and He will take it away from me? Of course. But that's part of being a submissive.

Alana, I agree. So far, from our experience spending an extended period of time together (10 days isn't really "extended," but it is for us, and gives us time to be a little normal), as I stated earlier, we slip in and out of the roles. We spend time in separate rooms doing separate things on separate computers. The dynamic will always ebb and flow. During times of higher stress/busy times, it may wane. During emotionally needy times on one or both of our parts, it may tighten back up. But it will definitely be different than it is now.

By: alana

alana — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:59:16 +0000

Even though you guys are in a certain type of mentality when you guys are apart, it would be interesting to see how this would change if you guys lived together. I’m not trying to minimize your relationship or anything, but I’m just curious as to how things would be when you have the opportunity to be pissed the fuck off at each other over the stupidest shit (and I think being mad at someone you don’t live with is far different then when you’re mad at someone you do).

By: Topaz

Topaz — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:48:50 +0000

Thanks for reposting the levels, I'll take a look when I have some more time. For now, I think the biggest difference between 7 and 8 is the line "Devotes most of time to other commitments" – your job seems very important to you, and level 8 seems to relegate all other things in favour of the master. i.e. if the master asks you to give up your job, or take time away from it regardless of what crucial activities you may be dealing with at work, you would do it willingly. What do you think about that distinction?

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:38:46 +0000

Very interesting. I was just reading your archives a few days ago and came across that post. I was surprised at where you had ranked yourself, because it seemed much less intense than what you share about your current situation. Do you think that if you and your Master lived together, you would be able to maintain the level of submission or you would end up cutting back on it?

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:05:26 +0000

Amy, I think I would seek one out similar to what I have now, or at least one with some level of D/s that goes outside of the bedroom. I feel like it's a part of me and I can't imagine having a relationship without it now.

By: moresexchocolateandredlipstick

moresexchocolateandredlipstick — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:03:47 +0000

I really enjoyed this post, I find it really interesting how we are different in different relationships yet ostensibly we are still the same person.

Do you think that if your relationship with Master were to end (god forbid!) then you would actively seek out a relationship like the one you have now, or do you think you would be more likely to go back to a 4/5?

---Amy xxxx

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:58:07 +0000

Sexy Sixty, well, we can't really be when we're apart. But we try. I have tasks to complete every day for Him. I receive other tasks throughout the day. There's protocol and ritual that overrides much of our relationship. Our "sex," if you will, takes place via Skype, and He still directs and dictates how it will go. I sometimes ask Him what I will eat or what I will wear or if I will be plugged or not when I go out. I can't exactly do things physically FOR Him, as we're not in the same viscinity, yet almost everything I do throughout my day is FOR Him, as ordered by Him. I have a bedtime. I cannot masturbate without Him or His permission. Etc, etc. It's more about the mindset and how much you are mentally devoted and have given yourself to someone. The mental aspect of control is much, much greater than the physical aspect of it in BDSM.

However, this month, we spent almost half of it together, in which we can act out a full 8 level relationship, but even then, we slip in and out of roles throughout the day.