Comments on: Aftercare, Part II: Traumatic Bonding http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/ I'm nothing but a brash and impetuous girl striving to be true to myself while searching for somewhere to belong, someone to love, and a better version of me. Sat, 11 Dec 2010 07:29:26 +0000 hourly 1 By: theybelongtous http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/comment-page-1/#comment-6358 theybelongtous Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:19:18 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1024#comment-6358 Parts of this seriously resonated with me. I will probably write about it. <br /><br />Thanks for posting this.<br /><br />peace... Parts of this seriously resonated with me. I will probably write about it.

Thanks for posting this.

peace…

]]> By: Eliot http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/comment-page-1/#comment-6353 Eliot Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:18:15 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1024#comment-6353 Fantastic post, Brit. There really is a fine yet definite line between abuse and BDSM: consent. But as long as people don't (or refuse to) understand what consent means, then they'll always come out equating BDSM with non-consensual abuse. To those people I say, c'mere and I'll show you the difference between non-consensual abuse and BDSM. And after I'm done with them, there should be no doubt in their heads just what that difference is. hehehehe Fantastic post, Brit. There really is a fine yet definite line between abuse and BDSM: consent. But as long as people don't (or refuse to) understand what consent means, then they'll always come out equating BDSM with non-consensual abuse. To those people I say, c'mere and I'll show you the difference between non-consensual abuse and BDSM. And after I'm done with them, there should be no doubt in their heads just what that difference is. hehehehe

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/comment-page-1/#comment-6352 Britni TheVadgeWig Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:57:08 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1024#comment-6352 I know it's hard for some people to wrap their minds around how BDSM and abuse are different, when SO MANY of the elements are the same. The power and control, which is the cornerstone of abuse, especially. It's important to remember that abuse is not consensual, while BDSM is. Also, that it's not just about you deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on your partner-- your partner is also deriving pleasure from the pain inflicting. It's very mutual.<br /><br />I wrote two posts that are worth checking out if you're still unclear.<br /><br /><a href="http://britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/2009/07/consent.html" rel="nofollow">Consent</a><br /><a href="http://britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/2009/09/assertiveness-and-submission.html" rel="nofollow">Assertiveness and Submission</a> I know it's hard for some people to wrap their minds around how BDSM and abuse are different, when SO MANY of the elements are the same. The power and control, which is the cornerstone of abuse, especially. It's important to remember that abuse is not consensual, while BDSM is. Also, that it's not just about you deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on your partner– your partner is also deriving pleasure from the pain inflicting. It's very mutual.

I wrote two posts that are worth checking out if you're still unclear.

Consent
Assertiveness and Submission

]]> By: Sexy Sixty http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/comment-page-1/#comment-6351 Sexy Sixty Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:28:47 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1024#comment-6351 Again, this thoughtful post has furthered my education in this area. It is strange, indeed, that the same patterns associated with an abusive relationship can be traced in a loving BDSM relationship. You suggest (no, you state it unequivocally) that BDSM and physical abuse are different things and I understand that intellectually, but still have some trouble wrapping my emotion around the distinctions. Maybe because I cannot really picture myself deriving much pleasure from inflicting pain on my partners. But then, I've never tried, so who knows? Again, this thoughtful post has furthered my education in this area. It is strange, indeed, that the same patterns associated with an abusive relationship can be traced in a loving BDSM relationship. You suggest (no, you state it unequivocally) that BDSM and physical abuse are different things and I understand that intellectually, but still have some trouble wrapping my emotion around the distinctions. Maybe because I cannot really picture myself deriving much pleasure from inflicting pain on my partners. But then, I've never tried, so who knows?

]]> By: Radioactive Girl http://britisshameless.com/2009/12/aftercare-part-ii-traumatic-bonding/comment-page-1/#comment-6349 Radioactive Girl Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:03:29 +0000 http://britisshameless.com/?p=1024#comment-6349 Really well written and explained thoughts on a difficult to understand/challenging phenomena...I love both yours and Profilgacy's views on this subject....keep challenging the views and misconceptions regarding BDSM and abuse and making clear where the line stands<br /><br />RG Really well written and explained thoughts on a difficult to understand/challenging phenomena…I love both yours and Profilgacy's views on this subject….keep challenging the views and misconceptions regarding BDSM and abuse and making clear where the line stands

RG

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