Comments on: I Love You Just The Way You Are

By: {{ d a n i m o }}

{{ d a n i m o }} — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:03:01 +0000

i definitely saw your reaction to the "fugly" comment as simply honest. i know how out of character it is for you to say or not correct a comment like that. i know how fat-positive you are and, believe me, i think you do an extraordinary job of combating the media and society's hateful attack on the female body. i thank you for introducing me to blogs like fatshionista and fat-positive articles and being so keenly aware of your privilege as a thin woman. you are truly a rare gem.

i also understand this came at a time you were hurting. i had to say something about such an unwonted post, though, if nothing else to keep you on your toes as i expect you'd do for me. people like us are so damned brilliant and educated (*snort* i'm so modest for us ;P) and we're casually expected to know everything about everything and never have the tiniest fuck up. that's a lot of pressure and sometimes, you just need a little help from your friends; i know i do.

i was actually surprised to see someone comment that one of the vile excuses for a human being you blogged about recently "looks like a man." i'm glad you addressed that without calling anyone out or criminalizing them, and i'm glad you explained your point so well. kudos!

By: Lori D

Lori D — Wed, 27 May 2009 00:54:28 +0000

This is why I call it MY blog. People can go f*** themselves if they don't like what I write, though I do my best not to hurl slurs in my writing. I love your blog because you're not afraid to speak your mind. It's goddamned refreshing.

…and as for getting called "dude" or gendered male, it's nothing I haven't heard before. Only those I have respect for matter.

By: Eliot

Eliot — Tue, 26 May 2009 23:07:52 +0000

April: I've spent some time going through her archives as I do not remember exactly which post, but I can't find it. All I remember is that it was some time ago. Anyway, it was another one of those catty insults flung at a girl an ex of Britni was dating. As Britni explained in this post, her cattiness has nothing to do with her viewpoint regarding fat people in general. I understand where she's coming from so it's all good.

By: April

April — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:50:24 +0000

Alana: I wasn't trying to argue with you. Nor was I trying to argue the point of what she decides to write about on her blog, as that's not what I'm talking about and it's really not relevant. I was saying that although it was a nice gesture for her to apologize, it was unnecessary. Why? Because she did not make the comment.

You wrote in your last comment, "If you say a comment that hurts a person’s feelings, it’s proper to apologize." I completely agree with that, and I practice it as well. However, people's feelings (not yours) were hurt by what Britini's BROTHER said. She didn't say it.

Yes, she wrote that it's wrong for her brother to have said it. But I think she's being entirely too hard on herself. People read that post, blew it completely out of proportion, and came down on her like it came out of her mouth. She has been nothing but an open-minded, completely positive person in every way when it comes to people of different sizes, sexes, genders, religions, races, etc. (she loves everyone!) So when I read these comments in which people were coming down on her for something she didn't say or even agree with, it bothered me.

By: alana

alana — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:05:26 +0000

I was just about to argue that this is her blog and she has sole responsibility for what she decides to post or not (just as it's mine on my blog), but I don’t think it’s necessary and I don’t want to argue about it.

Sorry if you don’t agree, but I still give mad props to Britni for taking the time to reassure her readers she didn’t mean anything hurtful. Even though I wasn’t offended, it’s nice to know that if I was she would genuinely care. It’s nice is all.

By: April

April — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:27:43 +0000

Alana, I think you're missing the point, Britini didn't make the comment. So it was VERY unfair for anyone to say anything to HER about HER making the comment.

By: alana

alana — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:07:23 +0000

Hey I’m fat and I didn’t think anything of it, but it’s nice of you to take the time to apologize for something someone might have been hurt by.

I think that’s where April is missing the point. It doesn’t matter if you’re generally fat positive. If you say a comment that hurts a person’s feelings, it’s proper to apologize. It doesn’t cost you anything and it shows the high level of your maturity. I am sure those people who made the “she looks like a man” comments didn’t think they would be hurting any specific person’s feelings. Does that make their comments any more of less acceptable? I think not.

So thanks.

And I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I thought Welcome to Chicago made an excellent point.

By: April

April — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:25:46 +0000

Eliot: I have been reading this blog for quite some time now and I've never read any post where Britini has been nothing but a fat-positive person. She's posted several posts with pictures of over-weight people and how we should celebrate them. So I'm curious to know which post you're speaking of.

By: Eliot

Eliot — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:29:53 +0000

April: Although she didn't use the insult herself in that post, she has used it in a past post, and this latest one just reminded me of that. So, while I wasn't necessarily outing her for that particular post, it was the catalyst that led to my comment. I suppose I could take some blame for still being a bit sensitive about my weight, but I didn't call her out for an apology, I was wanting her take on how she reconciles her conflicting viewpoints. I had a feeling it was just an insult, but I wanted her to expand on her use of the word as an insult.

By: Eliot

Eliot — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:24:34 +0000

Aw, now, I didn't mean for you to cry, sugar. I really was just curious to read your reply. Hell, I've used fat as an insult! Oh, look, it's the pot calling the kettle porky! lol

Like you said, no one is perfect. And we're not going to be accepting of everyone all the time. It's impossible, and I'm not entirely sure it's ideal. Our personal feelings sometimes get in the way. But that's cool because we're human.

Btw, I got your e-mails, and I will reply to them just as soon as I'm more fully awake.

Lots of love heading your way, darling.