And I love and respect you for it.

… or the gayest thing in-between two legs.

ZIIIIIIING!

*which, apparently, gay, old fashioned, and having worked at adult stores… don't mix. Who knew?

See, when men have sex, they are just sticking it in somewhere. When women have sex, they are actually allowing someone to be inside of them. I think that this can make a huge difference in regards to the emotional aspect of sex for women.

I'm not saying that men don't attach emotion to sex, especially in relationships. I'm just referring to the fact that it seems like women have a harder time separating sex and emotion.

And Molls: regardless of that piece being omitted (and I did read the whole post, obvi), I felt like the contradiction was there just the same. You may have grown up and matured and that may be why you no longer feel the need to have sex on the first date, but my point was kind of a different one. It was more a general, sweeping statement about societal expectations and the fact that a "rule" like that is even needed/warranted/put in place.

Regardless of how progressive we are, we must admit that sex, regardless of when it happens, irrevocably changes the dynamic of a relationship. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is an inevitable truth. we can try fooling ourselves with a cavalier attitude, but the fact is, sex changes the tenure of a relationship — either for the good or the bad — but things will most certainly change between the participants.

Don't even argue with me on this one… it is inevitable.

Now, back to your question… no, you would not have ruined the chance for a serious relationship with me, but that is more contingent on timing than 1st date nookie. We'd have to both be in a similar place mentally… and romance is all but impossible to predict.

If we both want more from the relationship at the same time, then the situation will evolve fluidly and will feel effortless and exhilarating.

But this is lightening in a bottle. it's theoretically possible (happened to me) but good luck having all the stars align (i also crashed and burned in a previous similar relationship because my casual friend did not share my enthusiasm).

After sex on a 1st date, if your feelings of connection are deeper than mine, and you communicate wanting more from me than just a romp, I will most likely panic and begin screening your calls and getting some distance between us.

If our roles are reversed, my desire for more from you may be interpreted by you as pressure or an ultimatum to commit, throwing a monkeywrench into our fun.

And this is the only logical argument against sex on the 1st date with someone you want to develop a serious relationship with. It's risky to your emotional well-being… not because of imposed social norms (though they don't help) but breaking it down to its most base elements, no matter how well our night goes, it is impossible for you to predict if I'm as into you as you are into me.

I'm not denouncing sex on a first date. Having had sex on a 1st date frequently, it would be hypocritical of me to denounce it. Besides, I believe in infinite possibilities in infinite combinations. I'm just saying that reading the tea-leaves and non-verbal cues can be trickier once we've already taken a romp.